currently.

I am putting off painting, so much freaking painting.  just imagine a 2000 square foot house and everything that can be painted NEEDS painted, except one glorious room, the living room, which they already had painted white.  anyways, we are finishing up the kitchen and family room and you guys, I am getting to that "what day is it, I need nutrients, I am stressed" kind of point.  so anyways, break!

watching: jim and I are still going through Gilmore girls! and bah bah bah! the last episode we watched Schmidt from new girl was in it!  I love finding new characters on old tv shows!



 dealing: out the time outs.  seriously, also I feel like, I wished these work... but they don't.  enough said

losing: the drama.  I was so pumped when we moved because about a month after I moved in I met this lady at the park who was also a runner and I started running with them on Saturdays.  It was nice to have accountability and a weekly "friendish" date.  the last time I ran with them though she was subtly (not so subtly) slamming me the whole time.  whatever, aint nobody got time for that, surround yourself with light people! so I let her know, won't be running with them anymore! also, can I just say that as an adult, it ALWAYS CATCHES ME OFF GUARD WHEN GROWN WOMEN ACT LIKE THEY ARE IN HIGH SCHOOL! ALWAYS! 

dreaming: not much, all dreams are on hold while I get this house into shape, but seriously.  maybe the house is my dream!

committing: to myself, it feels good.  I never thought I would be the type of person to be chirping "just get up at 6am and do it!" but damn, it feels good to be out doing something exclusively for me. and bonus-  even if I do nothing the rest of the day, I still feel productive.



what are you up to this week?

currently.

hello.  seeing as it is Thursday and I can barely keep my eyes open at 1:18pm, I thought I would take a quick minute to just jot down what the eff is up since honestly... you all aren't getting some deep conversation/intellectual post this week.  I mean, let's have a round of applause that I got in two posts in a week.  (HOW DO MOMS HAVE TIME TO BLOG?!?!!?)


This week -

I was watching my baby's heart rate on the monitor at the hospital.  I fell (again).  It was actually one of those things where I was just immediately pissed at myself because hello how stupid and now I have to go to the hospital to be monitored.  It was actually a very casual affair with me waiting until Jim got home and then just driving myself.  Spoiler alert: everything was fine, my 21 month old just needs to keep her toys out of my way! (yeah right)

Searching for patience, and more sleep.  Hoping these will be combined one of these days.  Also ways to maximize our space while we try to make room for the addition.  Ugh, it's been an emotionally up and down week.  Impatience at wanting to move and meet my new son and knowing in the back of my mind to stop wishing the time away because honey it stops for no one anyway.

I have been missing my best friend a lot this week.  She lives in Raleigh and I got to see her a week and a half ago for her brother's wedding.  Ugh, it was such a tease.  Our times together since she moved four years ago have been few an far between.  I feel lucky in this life to have found both my soulmates (spouse and friend) but it's hard being away from her all the time.

Adelynn has been growing up recently.  It's like we are turning our heads for a second and she is just mastering more and more.  I'd like to do a full post on her updates, but in case I don't get to it, here are things she has mastered recently: independent sentences (IE. asking for someone and then asking for an action "TyTy swim" "Leo eat it") swinging on big girl swings, very independent play both a the park and at home, walking and running everywhere, climbing ladders... it goes on and on.  It both breaks my heart and makes me so proud.

I have been doing my best to ignore the fact that in just a couple short weeks my nannying job will end.  I feel goofy over how sad it is making me.  Those kids are just so special and so close with Addie and I'm close with them. I actually had trouble falling asleep last night because I kept picturing them going to school and leaving Adelynn behind.  I know it is ending for the best of reasons and it might not even be permanent (maybe next summer?) but for now it is and I feel sad that my daughters best friends are going to be going away without an explanation that she will really understand...


ugh.  Way to end on a high note.  That being said, the weather here is gorgeous, I have the windows open - air off in the middle end of July....  also holy cow it's the end of July.  Enjoy the (almost) weekend and have a donut for me!

currently

FYI: toddlers eat a lot more if you let them have a picnic, no constraints.  That's a quesadilla outside btw.

 

 

I wanted to get in this space and write, to pop in and say hello.  It's been a hectic week, my daughter is completely lovable, completely----- she is also extremely strong willed.  This age is difficult, as far as discipline, I am just trying to figure it out.  Her favorite things these days... biting and hitting when she doesn't get her way, throwing her dinner to the dogs, creating general mayhem and loving loving LOVING when I say "NO" I mean she finds it HILARIOUS.  I can't really think of anything more frustrating than looking at this tiny little irrational human who is LAUGHING when you are at the end of your rope.  I love love being a mom, but man, when six o clock hits.... I am exhausted and she is usually crying or getting ready to cry.   

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut totally not the point of me being on here.  I wanted to link up with OT and ET this week to catalogue what is going on.... holla!

I have been writing in my daily 365 journal which I LOVE.  If I don't like the question for the day I just jot a little note about what's going on.  I am so excited to look back in a couple years and see what was up, especially as my family grows!  I am also diligently writing in my weekly pregnancy journal.  When I had Adelynn, I sent out a weekly email but never compiled them and am missing some weeks.  I am doing this one handwritten so I can give it as a gift to my baby when he/she is older. 

I haven't been visiting anyone yet, but we are gearing up for a family trip to Baltimore and a GENDER REVEAL!  Yes, I ordered cupcakes with a colored filling and cannot wait cannot wait cannot wait to let the cat out of the bag about what is in this belly.  It has been so great being pregnant a second time.  When I was pregnant the first time, I was literally a ball of nerves just thinking something was going to go wrong at every turn, trying to plan out EVERY SINGLE DETAIL and OH MY GOD you can't.  It was a stressful experience and I spent a great deal of time worrying about what things could go wrong and wondering "will I get back to my pregnancy size? what if I look like this for ever?!"  It's been so nice to just settle into this pregnancy and enjoy most if not all of the moments.  In the span of life, pregnancy is so short, so it's nice to just relish my changing body, the kicks, and the knowledge that a teeny tiny baby is growing in my body.  HOW AWESOME DUDE!

Learning: This relates back to the first, but I am still learning how to be the best mom for Chewkie.  It's the hardest but most rewarding thing I have ever done and I just want to do it well.  I think this will be a lifelong lesson that I will have to learn and relearn with every child.

I have been wanting just a lot of stuff.  We went through a period where we couldn't buy ANYTHING and I feel like I am just still flying high off of "wow we can afford stuff again!"  Bleh, I need to cut back at looking/shopping on my phone which has definitely been a downside of having a smart phone again.  SO MANY ADS ALL THE TIME!

I am loving taking some time for myself and just working on some updates.  I got fresh highlights, painted my toenails, and have recovered my couch pillows which gave my living room such a LIFT.  It's so happy in there now that some of the brown is being lifted by the happy turquoise and jungle green!



ALSO: coming up, a new bloggy blog facelift!  Erin from Love, Fun and Football has been diligently working away on a makeover for me.  She is AWESOME to work with and in my opinion underprices herself!  Fun fact, we were in the same art class at college together!

SOOO everyone, enjoy your (hopefully) 3 day weekend, enjoy a beer (for me!), and hopefully let the sunshine in!!

hesitancy.

I started this blog almost a year ago and it has definitely not lived up to what I was planning for it.  I was envisioning a source of income, an outlet, and a way to make friends.  However, this does come at a trade-off.  I am not a fashion blogger and haven't been able to master being a cooking blogger although I would love to.  I don't to great with pictures and haven't been consistent in my posting.  A large online presence comes at a trade-off.  I have struggled this year with giving strangers an intimate view at my day and my daughter's day.  I don't know exactly what the right parameters to establish are and I am not sure where this blog is going to go.

I'm not ready to give up on it though and I am hoping to carve out some time and space to work on this little online presence and develop it, hopefully into something meaningful both for myself and for others (hello run-on sentence!).  Bear with me as I aim to do this but in the meantime...



here is what we've been up to.

had one year photos taken

celebrated Christmas (ahh no pictures yet!) but this was the best and most magical Christmas ever.  my little jelly bean was so overwhelmed when she came down the stairs and saw all the presents.  I don't think she knew what to think but then she saw some blocks and was like "oh cool I get to play with this!" we stayed home for the first time ever and it was wonderful.  I wore leggings all day, we chowed down on monkey bread, coffee, a Christmas ham and mimosas.  My parents stopped by for a couple hours and dropped off our gifts, the wagon was a huge hit with Adelynn. 

made resolutions for the new year.  I have a lot of new years resolutions and I have always enjoyed making my lists and striving to be intentional with my year.  I post my list on the refrigerator and keep track of my goals.  But my main theme for this year is getting to know myself and being ok with it.  I almost want to make a cute wall hang of "Be Yourself" and I know it is so sesame street, but I am 26 and a mom and I don't want this insecurity hanging about any longer.  I want to inspire Adelynn to always be ok with herself whether she loves tattoos or hates them, whether she gets married or stays single, if cats and singing are her thing awesome, if she is more into grunge music and skateboarding - that's cool too.  I am doing nothing for the world, myself, and most importantly, my family but letting doubt in.  Last year I talked worry this year- it's self doubt.  Jim always says to me that I constantly underestimate myself and what I can do.  I resolve to work on this.

enjoying my family - having kids seriously speeds up your life.  one minute you are looking at this tiny little newborn with curled fists and closed eyes and the next thing you know they are walking around, screaming, dancing, just in general having a kick ass time with their life.  My daughter enjoys her life so fully and I want to be just like that.  I spend/spent so much time worrying about things and (soapbox moment) life is SHORT.  Things are flying by faster than anything.  The twenties are a rough stage, you are figuring yourself out, figuring life out, At the start of this decade I was unattached, still in school with no bills or worries, halfway through I had a husband, a household, and a kid!  It's a lot and there are tons of changes, so it's best to just buckle up and enjoy it while you can!

the truth.

"you can't handle the truth"

confession, i have never seen a few good men.  i am planning on watching this along with other movies i deem "must see" that were either just before my time or i never got around to watching (ie. the godfather among others) soon.

ahh the truth, the truth is my baby is in full blown sleep regression and i am now getting up 5+ times a night leading to very tearful mornings (me not her)

the truth is i no longer believe in any sleep training miracles and am not letting her "cry it out" much to the chagrin of some of the moms i know...

the truth is that sometimes, i just don't feel like writing.  not getting sleep and trying to train for my half is leaving me ex-hausted.  at seven pm when i normally go for my run, my sneakers feel like they have lead in them.  my eyelids are already heavy and what i really want to do is curl up on the couch with chips and cookies and watch seinfeld till i go upstairs.  the truth is, is that even without a outside of the home job, i still have weeks where i'm not pulled together, where parenting makes me feel at a loss, where we have more meals out of our microwave than i am proud of. 

but other than tears and unhealthy meals.  i have had bright spots.  i need to get better about including more pictures of the happenings around here, which means i need to get better at taking them.... but here we go

currently

eating: grilled food and lots of it on the weekends, burgers, brats, grilled veggies, steak, it's all coming my way and we don't have to turn on the oven AND my husband does the majority of the cooking, win win win!

planning: for my bestie to get in her 15 hours!!! OHEMGEE.  since she went southern over two years ago, our get togethers are few and far in between.  but (hopefully that will be changing) always always appreciated.  she hasn't seen baby since december so the changes will be remarkable and of course i am looking forward to her company

also i am planning for fathers day!!!!!!!!!!!  as you all remember, i love birthdays and any surprise days!  i am working out a full blown menu for fathers day and am using this to jump start my meal planning next week (holla i am pulling it together!) so far i am waiting on the husband to decide what he wants for dessert but i will be sure to take pictures (check!) and share what we have planned.  i will also share the video i made for him.

loving: my new tattoo!  i went on monday and finally got my inner arm tattoo done.  i love having a reminder of my mom so close to my heart

feeling: like a bad ass because my favorite tattoo artist remembered me and i haven't had her do a tattoo in 2+ years.  again, as someone who moonlights in pink cardigans by day, having a tattoo artist think i am legit is an honor i do not take lightly. also i feel way more bad ass that with my 10 tattoo i am finally confident enough to start having my ink show.

reading: i have been a book whore recently.  i raced through love the one you're with and heart of the matter by emily giffin and am now reading delirium by lauren oliver.  i like(d) all three but preferred love the one you're with over heart of the matter.

and just because i can't help it.

bad-ass.

give me that banana mom.

 

 



random

(1) i have been diligently entering the smart home sweepstakes from HGTV, i told my husband "i have a really good feeling about this, i think we are going to win!" we probably aren't... i am pretty unlucky in these things.  but how cool would it be?  check out the house here.

(2) the sunshine helps so much, seriously so so so much.  now i just need to think of age appropriate activities to do outside.  any help on this one moms?  she is six, going on seven months.  also moms any advice for a lightweight travel stroller?  she needs to be able to sit upright in it as she doesn't love her current one because of not being able to sit upright and honestly i don't love it either, it was part of a travel system and is very bulky and takes up a lot of my trunk

(3) we got little's big girl car seat, just waiting to install it!  i can't believe it.  we went with the ever popular britax marathon.  so so so pumped.

(4) finances have been on my mind a lot recently.  i handle the budget, but in my heart i am a spender.  also real talk here, sometimes it's hard not to be envious of all the things other mommy bloggers have.  seriously, how old am i and how stupid do i sound saying that?  but it's true.  i am reigning it in slowly but surely.  defining guidelines have helped with that, so i actually know how much i can spend in each category.  i am also re-evaluating my priorities and reminding myself that stuff eventually is just empty and how much more important it is for me to be home with my family.  how sad that i have to even work on this, but i do.  it is so hard not to constantly want want want.  oh little heart, learn contentment.

(5) running has been going so well recently.  i did 5.7 miles on sunday without blinking (ok i might've blinked but it went pretty well).  i am so thankful to have a husband that doesn't bat an eye when the first thing out of my mouth once that baby is sleeping is "i'm going for a run."

(6) i have been a little lonely recently.  in the past couple of years my two closest friends have moved out of town and i had a kid which kinda puts a damper on nights out (not that i mind).  it makes you realize how much i value good girlfriends and how long it can take to build those relationships.  it also makes me thankful for my husband and serves as a reminder to not let our friendship die out to being "room mates"

(7) i have been in a cooking rut recently, ugh.  any recommendations?  we have been eating a lot of deli sandwiches, lol.  but seriously a deli sammy can be so so so good, especially if you haven't had one in a while.

balance: throwback and currently

throwback, hubby and i the second night we ever hung out.  don't we look like a couple?  ya we weren't.  but kinda were, since let's be honest, from the day we met to the day we married exactly 4 months and 24 days transpired.  so the relationship was pretty much on fast forward from the day we met.

and to counteract that throwback.  here's what we are up to currently

feeling: better today!  i was down in the dumps yesterday and it sucks because i realize i am and i want to enjoy each day since they are so brief but i just couldn't pull myself out of my funk yesterday.  i am feeling a little more joyful today and gearing up for easter weekend!

imagining: of moving out of ohio.  i know a lot of people plan on moving and never do, at least here.  but you all, i cannot be born, live, and die in ohio.  i just can't.  i wish it was happening sooner rather than later, but i will keep dreaming, planning and SAVING for it.

listening: to my husband's advice and my own instinct.  at least trying to.  you guys first time parenting is not for the faint of heart.  there are so many experts and books and advice and schedules.  and everyone is convinced their way is the only way.  but you all, take it with a grain of salt.  every time that i listen to my own heart in the way i parent i feel good about myself, even if it goes against the "experts" advice.  every time i listen to a book over my gut, i end up feeling guilty and like i did her a disservice, because normally it just delays the time until i do it my way.  and my husband's advice? "eff em" - those people that give you dirty looks cause you gave your kid candy at 10 am?  eff em.  the person who scowls at you in the dr's office because your kid is crying cause it's past their nap time?  eff em.  you matter, your family matters and that's it - run with it ladies, you are rocking it!  

moving: i am still moving to my exercise videos! and am quite proud of the way things are shaping up, but i got to be honest, i am ready to be outside and moving, please come soon spring!!!

thanks ot and et and harvesting kale :) for the link up.

catch up

teething baby and a husband at home has meant lots of family time, not many naps, and not much screen time.  so here is a catch up,

(one) i sold my first etsy order!  hallelujah ptl, doing my happy dance.  i wrote about failure here and although i am still approximately 19003249083429083 orders away from making money, it still feels nice.  in celebration, i am offering a coupon code 10% off any order 10 dollars or more, just use coupon code neworder upon check out!

(two) yes there is still snow on the ground where i live, yes i am bitter about this.  we are below 20 degrees here people.

(three) baby socks are for the birds, enough said.

(four) i think A is having nightmares.  about 45 minutes after we put her to bed we heard panicked crying and when we went into her room she was crying TEARS and looked extremely frightened.  now when she normally is just crying in her crib because she wants to get up there are NO tears.  i really hope she doesn't suffer from night terrors in the future.  it was a terrible feeling.  i nursed her and j read a story and she was right back to sleep for the night, but i felt terrible.

(five) i have sampled two new bakeries this week which has left me a little disappointed actually.  also my sweet tooth is currently out of control.

(six) i added bloglovin since google reader is adios muchachos!  now all you lovies who desperately have wanted to follow me can..! :)

and i am going to link up with ot and et and harvesting kale :) :) :) here's hoping spring will come soon!

cleaning - my house!  i got some MUCH needed cleaning in today and it does a soul good.

planning - for my husband's birthday and A's half birthday!  we have decided to celebrate half birthdays with all of our kid(s) and i LOVE LOVE LOVE birthdays.  surprises await!

planting - nothing, i am lame, there is snow on the ground.  i did buy tulips to cheer myself up though.

skipping - i have been skipping cooking recently and it hasn't felt good.  we have ordered too much take out and been eating too many chips.  i got back in the game today with a crock pot recipe and am hoping that this gets my out of my slump.  sometimes you just don't have ideas and even the simplest of recipes seems too complicated to execute.

wearing - my winter jacket.  again.  still.  ridiculous.

currently

ya'll it's almost spring.  the reason i say almost and not "it's here" is because we currently have snow on the ground.  yes snow, and we had white out conditions yesterday.  of course today it's sunny and beautiful and the snow will probably all melt.... not that i'm complaining.  but it's a good day.

this little beauty cut her first tooth, and you guys... i am going to miss that gummy smile.  i let her know that if she wants to stop growing teeth and just stay gummy i would love her forever anyway.  also the tooth is SHARP, i am talking velociraptor sharp (sp on that dinosaur name??)  also the other day my aunt's asked me if she was teething yet and i said "i have no idea, i thought she was teething at 3 and a half months." seriously, first time parent for the win.  for some reason teething was something i was obsessed with... oooh her nap schedule was off today, she must be teething, oooh she wanted to nurse more often today, teething!  oooh she cried at bedtime... you guessed it teething! 
then the event actually happens and i am blind to it. 

and to celebrate i thought i would do a link up post.  they are fun and i like to document what the haps is currently.  i link up with ot and et and harvesting kale, thanks for sponsoring this!

watching: husband and i have started watching house of cards on netflix.  i really like kevin spacey and i think the show is good.  also it is taking us a long time to get through it because it is drama drama drama/talking talking talking so we can usually only watching one epi at a time.

craving: summer and sunshine.  i thrive in the heat.  100 degree days?  that's cool.  throw it my way.  it's coming though, i can feel it!

looking: halfheartedly for a place to live.  our lease is up somewhat soon (pretty soon) and we have no idea what we are going to do.  denial denial denial!

loving: i am always loving my family so i will also say i am loving the maxi skirt i got from groop dealz soooooooo comfy and i think i look instantly pulled together and it takes me less time to get dressed, win win win!

planning: some trips!  some to see family and some to see friends.  and by planning i mean i think about them, and being away from ohio and wishing they were here.

currently linking up

i am trying my first link up with OT and ET... a nice relaxing and dare i say easy blog post for the day...

visiting: we are getting ready to visit one of my very best friends out of town this weekend.  it's a two hour drive for us and the longest we will have ever been in the car with a, since she is a baby straight from heaven above... i am not anticipating much drama (watch it will be nothing but... i shouldn't put all my eggs in one basket)

working: out a lot.  i have made a commitment to work out six days a week.  five tough cardio/strength training and one day of yoga.

creating: dinners?  not much... this saturday i am cooking ribs, cheddar biscuits, au gratin potatoes, and green beans for that super cute hubby and b-i-l of mine.  i am looking forward to that.

loving: my daughter.  seriously gets better every day.  and i love the love that she has with her dad... i know she loves me but no one cracks girlfriend up more than her dad.