I have seen a lot of "summer is ending!" "fall is here" posts. While I am normally one of the first to jump on the fall bandwagon... this year I am sitting it out. I am still in tank tops, soaking up the sun, still half-assing it with meals because "who wants to eat when it's 90 degrees out? let's have cereal." and still fully in the summer mind.
For those with older kids, I know some schools started this week and are definitely starting by next week. For my husband and I though, he took his vacation late (it will start this Friday after work!) and this is my last week nannying. In that spirit, I am fully soaking up these last few weeks of our summer, an in between season if you will.
Staying present in the moments that will wind up being our last as a family of three, paying attention to the new things my daughter is doing/saying every day, soaking up the last of the warm warm days before the cool air sets in (although, at least in Ohio, it's been a cool summer and we have already had some very fallish days), enjoying the parks, zoo, and ice cream places now that they aren't as crowded. And of course nesting, I am in full blown nesting craziness over here. Shampooing carpets, cleaning the basements out, wanting to bake bake bake. In truth though, I don't know when he will arrive. In my mind, we are in fair game territory. So really these last few moments before I meet him read like the end of a very, very good book. They might make you a little mournful, but you are better having read it.
The next couple months hold exciting things and while I will embrace fall when it arrives... sweet summer, stay a little longer.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
lazy, hazy, crazy baby.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
it's summer. I am actually quit thrilled to see so many of my favorite bloggers taking a break. It takes the pressure off a bit. Everyone is out enjoying the weather, unplugging. It feels nice to breathe the fresh air, have a glass of lemonade, enjoy family, friends, longer days, etc.
That being said, I am now in my seventh month of pregnancy and getting to that uncomfortable, when is he going to be out, pregnancy is so difficult stage. Truly. I keep reminding myself that no matter how difficult pregnancy is, it only becomes more so once they are out.
J and I took the plunge and joined our local gym with an annual membership this past weekend. The biggest draw for us was the pool/aquatic center they have. I am so so so excited about this. We paid for a daily pass last week to take Adelynn swimming. Later that night, she flopped on her belly in the tub and as she was squirming around and said "swimming, swimming." It was pretty much decided then and there that a membership was going to be a necessity. It's an indoor pool which takes away seasonal worries and sun worries. With the baby coming it will be so nice to have somewhere close where Jim can take her for a couple hours and she LOVES. I am also equally excited about the gym membership... although I am not doing much now (haha!) I suffer from seasonal depression in the winter and am looking forward to having an outlet and a way to train for my marathon. Even if I only make it twice a week, I am going to love having that time for just me and my goals.
Lately... this is what we've been up to in numbers
so that's been life lately. we've been working and loving and living. some days are a struggle, some I am frustrated. but overall it's been asweet summer with the promise of new things to come this fall.
ps. we are going to work on transitioning addy to a big girl bed this coming weekend. I will keep you posted on how this all goes!
That being said, I am now in my seventh month of pregnancy and getting to that uncomfortable, when is he going to be out, pregnancy is so difficult stage. Truly. I keep reminding myself that no matter how difficult pregnancy is, it only becomes more so once they are out.
J and I took the plunge and joined our local gym with an annual membership this past weekend. The biggest draw for us was the pool/aquatic center they have. I am so so so excited about this. We paid for a daily pass last week to take Adelynn swimming. Later that night, she flopped on her belly in the tub and as she was squirming around and said "swimming, swimming." It was pretty much decided then and there that a membership was going to be a necessity. It's an indoor pool which takes away seasonal worries and sun worries. With the baby coming it will be so nice to have somewhere close where Jim can take her for a couple hours and she LOVES. I am also equally excited about the gym membership... although I am not doing much now (haha!) I suffer from seasonal depression in the winter and am looking forward to having an outlet and a way to train for my marathon. Even if I only make it twice a week, I am going to love having that time for just me and my goals.
Lately... this is what we've been up to in numbers
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daily wagon rides, number of times having to double back to pick up lost sunglasses - 2 |
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| 3 - number of hours I made it at the reception and number of people in this picture |
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| 1 - birthday pop |
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| 12 - roses from my love |
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| 12 million, number of times she says higher! |
ps. we are going to work on transitioning addy to a big girl bed this coming weekend. I will keep you posted on how this all goes!
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
It's Wednesday. I'm a bit tapped for this week if I am going to be honest. Addy started on the monitor at five am this morning and I woke up realizing I was in the exact same position that I fell asleep in last night, I didn't even get up to pee.
That being said, this summer is sweet and full of hope and life and joy. I have been struggling, struggling in a way of "jesus, this is the fifth freaking tantrum and the clock hasn't even hit 6:30 yet" "holy hell how can I be so mad at such a small human?" and struggling physically. Adelynn is way more physical than I bargained for and is into climbing e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
That being said. This summer is sweet. I am overwhelmed and probably a bit underprepared for the biggest change that will take place in the nest few months but I have a boy that is kicking me every second of every day in my belly and I have a daughter that wraps her arms around me and when I do leave and come back gets so excited she just about has a conniption fit "MOMMY!!!!" I get to end my days with my soul mate and partner. I have a tan for the first time ever because I actually get to spend my days outside as opposed to in an office. We have plans for fruit stands and grilled corn, pulled pork and cupcakes. My family is coming together, we are growing and maturing and laughing and crying, usually every day.
I struggle with a lot and I don't know a lot, but I can tell you that I can look at Jim and know that he is my soul mate. I look at A and know that, while she is way more than I bargained for, she is mine and the greatest gift I have been given. I look at my stomach and know that in a couple of months, for the very first time, I will set eyes on my son. For now, this is enough.
That being said, this summer is sweet and full of hope and life and joy. I have been struggling, struggling in a way of "jesus, this is the fifth freaking tantrum and the clock hasn't even hit 6:30 yet" "holy hell how can I be so mad at such a small human?" and struggling physically. Adelynn is way more physical than I bargained for and is into climbing e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
That being said. This summer is sweet. I am overwhelmed and probably a bit underprepared for the biggest change that will take place in the nest few months but I have a boy that is kicking me every second of every day in my belly and I have a daughter that wraps her arms around me and when I do leave and come back gets so excited she just about has a conniption fit "MOMMY!!!!" I get to end my days with my soul mate and partner. I have a tan for the first time ever because I actually get to spend my days outside as opposed to in an office. We have plans for fruit stands and grilled corn, pulled pork and cupcakes. My family is coming together, we are growing and maturing and laughing and crying, usually every day.
I struggle with a lot and I don't know a lot, but I can tell you that I can look at Jim and know that he is my soul mate. I look at A and know that, while she is way more than I bargained for, she is mine and the greatest gift I have been given. I look at my stomach and know that in a couple of months, for the very first time, I will set eyes on my son. For now, this is enough.
5 Quick Things
Friday, June 20, 2014
1. I was lucky enough to be the guest blogger on Wifessionals and Happily Ever Rushed this week. If you get a chance stop by and check out both blogs - they are great!
2. Whew, I am six months in to this pregnancy and having a 20 month old is no joke guys. The screaming... so much screaming. I am trying to stay positive, on top of things, and just make light of what I can because... holy hell - that scream.
3. Does anyone else feel in a rut with cooking? In summer meal planning just goes out the window, ugh who feels like cranking the oven up to 400 when it's hot and muggy outside?
4. I just really hope this is a good weekend, I have my fingers crossed - smooth sailing in the wiggle household.
5.
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ham, that's all I have to say about this.
2. Whew, I am six months in to this pregnancy and having a 20 month old is no joke guys. The screaming... so much screaming. I am trying to stay positive, on top of things, and just make light of what I can because... holy hell - that scream.
3. Does anyone else feel in a rut with cooking? In summer meal planning just goes out the window, ugh who feels like cranking the oven up to 400 when it's hot and muggy outside?
4. I just really hope this is a good weekend, I have my fingers crossed - smooth sailing in the wiggle household.
5.
ham, that's all I have to say about this.
a sunny end to the week
Friday, May 30, 2014
just to sum up. this week was rough. emotionally and physically. I have been dealing with a lot of issues that didn't hit until much later in my first pregnancy (like swelling and an incredible amount of lower back pain) I attribute much of this to just trying to keep up with my active toddler. In addition, Adelynn had a rough time adjusting back (her schedule was thrown off completely in Baltimore, 10 pm bedtimes, morning naps, no afternoon naps... etc) and it was basically just a meltdown city for everyone this week.
but finally she slept for 12.5 hours last night and woke up smiling and with the exception of her hating the taste of her new allergy medicine, has been in good spirits since. I got a half hour to myself this morning that I celebrated with some stretching, a pop tart and a cup of coffee, Jim is coming home for a half day and I am seeing a friend for lunch. I think a relaxing day in the sun is going to be in order for everyone and I can't wait to kick start this weekend relaxing.
I hope everyone enjoys this Friday and weekend with their loves. Here are some Friday snapshots.
but finally she slept for 12.5 hours last night and woke up smiling and with the exception of her hating the taste of her new allergy medicine, has been in good spirits since. I got a half hour to myself this morning that I celebrated with some stretching, a pop tart and a cup of coffee, Jim is coming home for a half day and I am seeing a friend for lunch. I think a relaxing day in the sun is going to be in order for everyone and I can't wait to kick start this weekend relaxing.
I hope everyone enjoys this Friday and weekend with their loves. Here are some Friday snapshots.
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| 2o week belly |
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| canoe at the zoo |
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| first time riding in "the big girl car" at the grocery store |
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| cheesin at her great grandparents |
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| morning snuggles from her papa |
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| oh hey, four o clock |
How this pregnancy has differed from my first
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
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| hi baby |
I really could sum this up with the thought: in every way. However, I really wanted to expound on the idea as it is something I have given a great deal of thought to. I HATED being pregnant the first time. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful for my beautiful daughter and would have literally walked to hell and back to get her, but the pregnancy experience? No thank you. I thought it was a miserable, soul sucking experience filled with getting fat, bad skin, and just general uncomfortableness. In fact, I found myself wishing for twins so I could get more kids with fewer pregnancies... 3 kids, only 2 pregnancies - win!
This pregnancy, has thankfully been different- which is funny. Maybe it's because having a toddler makes you realize it's not all about you and your rounding hips and swollen belly, maybe it's because I have the knowledge of how limited our time on this earth is - much less our time carrying our babies in our belly, but regardless, it's been different. I am cherishing the kicks and movement and growing belly and somehow the downsides (flatulence! swollen feet! breakouts!) seem pretty limited. So I thought for futures sake when this is just a memory, I would categorize how this pregnancy differs from the last.
Although this is touched on above, during Adelynn's pregnancy I was a nervous wreck . I was constantly analyzing my chances of something being wrong (miscarriage! cystic fibrosis! down syndrome!) and found myself constantly expecting the worst. I am happy to say that this pregnancy has been mostly free from that. Of course the day before the first ultrasound I found myself a little uptight and trying to " prepare," but for the most part I have been settled mentally this pregnancy . I'm not googling syndromes or diseases. I expect to hear the heartbeat beating healthily when I go to my appointments and for the most part, I have just been relaxed. I am hoping this continues into when I bring the baby home and it's all relaxation over here (CAN I HEAR A YEAH RIGHT!)
I attribute some of this to the fact that it's my second pregnancy and really the second time you do anything it is easier but also the fact that worrying has been my focus for about a year now. It's nice to see the positive effect in my life, especially with something as important as my children. Jim has really helped me work through my worrying but ultimately realizing if I want to shut it off, it's up to me. Sometimes it's just a decision.
I am carrying differently. First time I was pregnant I didn't really show until I was about seven months. I am much more noticeably pregnant and carrying higher although I am still "low" at least in my perspective.
My cravings are different: first time around I am surprised A wasn't born with twizzlers pull-n-peel clutched in her tiny hands. This time, it's been ALL DAIRY all the time and a lot of salads. I have pretty much completely given up meat besides bacon and chicken. I am thankful for my cravings this time but again, am not sure if it's just because subconsciously I am trying to eat healthier or if it really is just different this time. (the DAIRY is definitely a pregnancy thing because good luck trying to get me to eat "raw" {ie not melted} cheese when I'm not pregnant.... not happening).
My emotions seem to be more in check or I am just more aware of them. I have had a couple of teary breakdowns this pregnancy (DUH!) but instead of attributing it to the fact that "j doesn't love me anymore" I realize even in the midst of it, that it's just a hormone fluctuation and I most likely need to cry it out and get on with my life.
I'm not sleeping as much. There is this super embarrassing picture Jim took of me where I fell asleep on our family room carpet in the afternoon/early evening. I mean hands curled up under me, mouth open, probably slightly snoring. Even with keeping up with A, I am functioning best on about eight and a half hours a night and going to bed around 10 or so as opposed to falling asleep at 8:30 EVERY NIGHT!
The main difference this time around....
IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!
and while the gender reveal really deserves it's own separate post. I am not sure I will get there. It was a very emotional day and since I was completely convinced it was a girl (!!!!) a shock for me. Needless to say, we are so excited to start what feels like a new journey and cannot wait to meet our son (!!!) in a couple months.
I am going to have a son. With that thought, I am going to kick this blog for tonight and get my dinner - which in case you are curious - is a bowl of cheerios.
it's not about me.
Monday, May 12, 2014
a week ago or so jim asked me what I wanted for mother's day in a "what do you want to do for Mother's day" kinda way. I asked for a couple hours to myself guilt free, to sleep in and some sort of breakfast.
see last year, my mother-in-law came into town for mother's day and so my weekend was filled with cleaning, cooking and planning - all while still caring for my seventh month old and feeling in general just crazy. so in my mind I was fully engaged in a "I DESERVE A MOTHER'S DAY! I DO SO MUCH! SO SO SO MUCH!!! NO ONE EVEN KNOWS HOW MUCH I DO!" and the like. not a very flattering portrait of myself, but an accurate one.
however, life had other plans. my poor babe came down sick on Saturday and slept horribly (goodbye sleeping in!) and refused to be peeled from my body for most of Sunday. we basically were one skin. I had laid her down for a nap at about one hoping she would go to sleep on her own for a bit and from the kitchen I hear "mommy.... mommy" in the most pitiful voice you can imagine. So I went up and picked up her little feverish body and rocked her on the floor and she fell asleep. Eventually I shifted her so we were both laying on the floor and I fell asleep too. Before I did though, I realized something that it is kind of unfortunate it took me this long to realize - it's not about me. What I do, day in and day out is not for me. The cooking, the cleaning, the kisses, the scheduling - it's not for my benefit or for my accolades - it is truly for my family. For my babe and baby-that's-coming, for my husband who works so hard so I can be at home with our littles.
And it's funny, that thought brought a lot of freedom. Freedom from needing the constant affirmations, From needing everyone to realize just how hard I am working for them.
I am not sure how to wrap this, it's still a new thought and a new lesson that I am sure will be molding my life in the months and years to come but I do want to say. To all the Mother's out there, salute, we are doing one hell of a job, and if you can remember to say - it's for them.
see last year, my mother-in-law came into town for mother's day and so my weekend was filled with cleaning, cooking and planning - all while still caring for my seventh month old and feeling in general just crazy. so in my mind I was fully engaged in a "I DESERVE A MOTHER'S DAY! I DO SO MUCH! SO SO SO MUCH!!! NO ONE EVEN KNOWS HOW MUCH I DO!" and the like. not a very flattering portrait of myself, but an accurate one.
however, life had other plans. my poor babe came down sick on Saturday and slept horribly (goodbye sleeping in!) and refused to be peeled from my body for most of Sunday. we basically were one skin. I had laid her down for a nap at about one hoping she would go to sleep on her own for a bit and from the kitchen I hear "mommy.... mommy" in the most pitiful voice you can imagine. So I went up and picked up her little feverish body and rocked her on the floor and she fell asleep. Eventually I shifted her so we were both laying on the floor and I fell asleep too. Before I did though, I realized something that it is kind of unfortunate it took me this long to realize - it's not about me. What I do, day in and day out is not for me. The cooking, the cleaning, the kisses, the scheduling - it's not for my benefit or for my accolades - it is truly for my family. For my babe and baby-that's-coming, for my husband who works so hard so I can be at home with our littles.
And it's funny, that thought brought a lot of freedom. Freedom from needing the constant affirmations, From needing everyone to realize just how hard I am working for them.
I am not sure how to wrap this, it's still a new thought and a new lesson that I am sure will be molding my life in the months and years to come but I do want to say. To all the Mother's out there, salute, we are doing one hell of a job, and if you can remember to say - it's for them.
18 month photoshoot preview
Wednesday, May 7, 2014
holy shit, because I just can't help myself.
all images copyright Double The Love Photography
so much news
Sunday, May 4, 2014
it's May first of all!
THANK GOD I finally see stuff that is green!
one. I took a bad fall and broke my tailbone last Wednesday, ugh- thankfully baby was ok (confirmed after waiting 3 (THREE!) hours to see a doctor at the ER!) a donut and Tylenol are rocking as my bff right now and it has been so so so hard not be active with Adelynn.
two. right now we are staying in our current house. we will hopefully be buying in the next eight months or so! (oh my god such big news!) this is such a blessing and we are so looking forward to the next step
three. let's see some current snap shots!
overall, this injury has knocked me on my ass. I am tired, grumpy, and very sore. but other than that we are doing well. I am looking forward to what the future has in store for us and excited about:
learning the gender at the end of May!
warmer weather finally!
maternity shorts
and of course being with my baby all day!
THANK GOD I finally see stuff that is green!
one. I took a bad fall and broke my tailbone last Wednesday, ugh- thankfully baby was ok (confirmed after waiting 3 (THREE!) hours to see a doctor at the ER!) a donut and Tylenol are rocking as my bff right now and it has been so so so hard not be active with Adelynn.
two. right now we are staying in our current house. we will hopefully be buying in the next eight months or so! (oh my god such big news!) this is such a blessing and we are so looking forward to the next step
three. let's see some current snap shots!
family shot before heading to our second ultrasound!
this just cracks me up, it's from a game where we nanny at
spring has come!
look at that girl, sitting like a boss at one of my doctor's appointments! so well-behaved!
baby(s) and mama, this is like five weeks old, so not a current belly pic at all
overall, this injury has knocked me on my ass. I am tired, grumpy, and very sore. but other than that we are doing well. I am looking forward to what the future has in store for us and excited about:
learning the gender at the end of May!
warmer weather finally!
maternity shorts
and of course being with my baby all day!
hesitancy.
Monday, January 13, 2014
I started this blog almost a year ago and it has definitely not lived up to what I was planning for it. I was envisioning a source of income, an outlet, and a way to make friends. However, this does come at a trade-off. I am not a fashion blogger and haven't been able to master being a cooking blogger although I would love to. I don't to great with pictures and haven't been consistent in my posting. A large online presence comes at a trade-off. I have struggled this year with giving strangers an intimate view at my day and my daughter's day. I don't know exactly what the right parameters to establish are and I am not sure where this blog is going to go.
I'm not ready to give up on it though and I am hoping to carve out some time and space to work on this little online presence and develop it, hopefully into something meaningful both for myself and for others (hello run-on sentence!). Bear with me as I aim to do this but in the meantime...
here is what we've been up to.
had one year photos taken
celebrated Christmas (ahh no pictures yet!) but this was the best and most magical Christmas ever. my little jelly bean was so overwhelmed when she came down the stairs and saw all the presents. I don't think she knew what to think but then she saw some blocks and was like "oh cool I get to play with this!" we stayed home for the first time ever and it was wonderful. I wore leggings all day, we chowed down on monkey bread, coffee, a Christmas ham and mimosas. My parents stopped by for a couple hours and dropped off our gifts, the wagon was a huge hit with Adelynn.
made resolutions for the new year. I have a lot of new years resolutions and I have always enjoyed making my lists and striving to be intentional with my year. I post my list on the refrigerator and keep track of my goals. But my main theme for this year is getting to know myself and being ok with it. I almost want to make a cute wall hang of "Be Yourself" and I know it is so sesame street, but I am 26 and a mom and I don't want this insecurity hanging about any longer. I want to inspire Adelynn to always be ok with herself whether she loves tattoos or hates them, whether she gets married or stays single, if cats and singing are her thing awesome, if she is more into grunge music and skateboarding - that's cool too. I am doing nothing for the world, myself, and most importantly, my family but letting doubt in. Last year I talked worry this year- it's self doubt. Jim always says to me that I constantly underestimate myself and what I can do. I resolve to work on this.
enjoying my family - having kids seriously speeds up your life. one minute you are looking at this tiny little newborn with curled fists and closed eyes and the next thing you know they are walking around, screaming, dancing, just in general having a kick ass time with their life. My daughter enjoys her life so fully and I want to be just like that. I spend/spent so much time worrying about things and (soapbox moment) life is SHORT. Things are flying by faster than anything. The twenties are a rough stage, you are figuring yourself out, figuring life out, At the start of this decade I was unattached, still in school with no bills or worries, halfway through I had a husband, a household, and a kid! It's a lot and there are tons of changes, so it's best to just buckle up and enjoy it while you can!
I'm not ready to give up on it though and I am hoping to carve out some time and space to work on this little online presence and develop it, hopefully into something meaningful both for myself and for others (hello run-on sentence!). Bear with me as I aim to do this but in the meantime...
here is what we've been up to.
had one year photos taken
celebrated Christmas (ahh no pictures yet!) but this was the best and most magical Christmas ever. my little jelly bean was so overwhelmed when she came down the stairs and saw all the presents. I don't think she knew what to think but then she saw some blocks and was like "oh cool I get to play with this!" we stayed home for the first time ever and it was wonderful. I wore leggings all day, we chowed down on monkey bread, coffee, a Christmas ham and mimosas. My parents stopped by for a couple hours and dropped off our gifts, the wagon was a huge hit with Adelynn.
made resolutions for the new year. I have a lot of new years resolutions and I have always enjoyed making my lists and striving to be intentional with my year. I post my list on the refrigerator and keep track of my goals. But my main theme for this year is getting to know myself and being ok with it. I almost want to make a cute wall hang of "Be Yourself" and I know it is so sesame street, but I am 26 and a mom and I don't want this insecurity hanging about any longer. I want to inspire Adelynn to always be ok with herself whether she loves tattoos or hates them, whether she gets married or stays single, if cats and singing are her thing awesome, if she is more into grunge music and skateboarding - that's cool too. I am doing nothing for the world, myself, and most importantly, my family but letting doubt in. Last year I talked worry this year- it's self doubt. Jim always says to me that I constantly underestimate myself and what I can do. I resolve to work on this.
enjoying my family - having kids seriously speeds up your life. one minute you are looking at this tiny little newborn with curled fists and closed eyes and the next thing you know they are walking around, screaming, dancing, just in general having a kick ass time with their life. My daughter enjoys her life so fully and I want to be just like that. I spend/spent so much time worrying about things and (soapbox moment) life is SHORT. Things are flying by faster than anything. The twenties are a rough stage, you are figuring yourself out, figuring life out, At the start of this decade I was unattached, still in school with no bills or worries, halfway through I had a husband, a household, and a kid! It's a lot and there are tons of changes, so it's best to just buckle up and enjoy it while you can!
oh hey.
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
oh hey everyone.
yep still here. still breathing although that last post doesn't make it seem like it.
this is such an interesting stage to be at in my life because i feel like i've been going at it so long. but then i take stock of my inventory and i realize, jim and i are really at the beginning still. our third (!) anniversary is in december and while i can't believe it's been that long, it really is still the first chapter. and that realization helps. to know that it's okay if we don't have everything i want, it's ok if we are short on money and don't own a home yet. it's okay to know that there will be new additions added and new hard times and good times to come.
fall has always been my favorite season, i think most mid westerners will agree, there is nothing like the perfect fall day. this year i have been trying to ruminate on why i personally love fall so much as it goes beyond pumpkin spice lattes (yes i worked it in) and cable knit cardigans. as someone who thrives on being busy and even at times unhealthily thrives on stress, there is something soothing about watching your world prepare for rest. to know that even the trees take time to let go of their leaves and stay quiet. rest has never been something i'm good at, i'm much better at "well, i feel like i am at a really good place, let's add one more thing" so to see nature so completely fall into a resting state, i can't help but feel it does my soul good.
take note soul, the point of life is to enjoy it. i am constantly relearning that lesson everyday. with cold toes and warm coffee in the morning with my little one, with a beer at lunch just because i can, holding hands with my husband, and yes with pumpkin spice lattes.
heart, welcome fall, welcome the rest that this winter will provide.
yep still here. still breathing although that last post doesn't make it seem like it.
this is such an interesting stage to be at in my life because i feel like i've been going at it so long. but then i take stock of my inventory and i realize, jim and i are really at the beginning still. our third (!) anniversary is in december and while i can't believe it's been that long, it really is still the first chapter. and that realization helps. to know that it's okay if we don't have everything i want, it's ok if we are short on money and don't own a home yet. it's okay to know that there will be new additions added and new hard times and good times to come.
fall has always been my favorite season, i think most mid westerners will agree, there is nothing like the perfect fall day. this year i have been trying to ruminate on why i personally love fall so much as it goes beyond pumpkin spice lattes (yes i worked it in) and cable knit cardigans. as someone who thrives on being busy and even at times unhealthily thrives on stress, there is something soothing about watching your world prepare for rest. to know that even the trees take time to let go of their leaves and stay quiet. rest has never been something i'm good at, i'm much better at "well, i feel like i am at a really good place, let's add one more thing" so to see nature so completely fall into a resting state, i can't help but feel it does my soul good.
take note soul, the point of life is to enjoy it. i am constantly relearning that lesson everyday. with cold toes and warm coffee in the morning with my little one, with a beer at lunch just because i can, holding hands with my husband, and yes with pumpkin spice lattes.
heart, welcome fall, welcome the rest that this winter will provide.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
ya'll. tomorrow is our very very first road trip as a family! i am so excited to be visiting family out of town and introduce our precious baby to her extended family. words cannot even describe. i have been like a kid before christmas this whole week. there is something about getting together with kin that makes my heart feel so whole. so hopefully i will have pictures to share!
in other news, we finally broke down and sleep trained. tuesday night i listened to my baby girl cry for 67 heartbreaking minutes. it was terrible, we couldn't eat, barely talked, it ruined my whole night. but you guys... after that she is sleeping through the night and taking her naps on a consistent basis!!! i am so happy that she is FINALLY getting the rest she needs after months of night wakings/no consistent naps. i know it's been two days but it was literally like a miracle overnight! last night we went from 6pm to 6am!!! i am just happy she is getting the rest she needs for her development.
so peace out till after the weekend. hopefully you will see more of me on here now that i am not constantly holding a baby! hallelujah!!!
in other news, we finally broke down and sleep trained. tuesday night i listened to my baby girl cry for 67 heartbreaking minutes. it was terrible, we couldn't eat, barely talked, it ruined my whole night. but you guys... after that she is sleeping through the night and taking her naps on a consistent basis!!! i am so happy that she is FINALLY getting the rest she needs after months of night wakings/no consistent naps. i know it's been two days but it was literally like a miracle overnight! last night we went from 6pm to 6am!!! i am just happy she is getting the rest she needs for her development.
so peace out till after the weekend. hopefully you will see more of me on here now that i am not constantly holding a baby! hallelujah!!!
welcoming in 26.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
**disclaimer, my laptop is back up and running!! hallelujah ptl! i apologize for my conspicuous absence on the blog while that was going on, but it was nice to be unplugged for a while and not having a computer definitely does that.
dear jim and little a,
yesterday i turned 26. and you made me feel like the luckiest woman alive. baby girl, i will write to you first, you lit up my heart yesterday and i thought it might burst with happiness. your daddy got up with you when you woke up at the ungodly hour of 6:30 and when i came rolling down at 8, you were nothing but smiles. we shared a breakfast together in which you were your usual smiling, happy, babbling self and then we napped together on the couch. your body, which is becoming less tiny by the day, curled into mine, your deep even breaths setting a tone for my day and giving my heart peace. when you woke up, we took the dogs for a (HOT!) trail walk and a little over halfway you decided you were done with the stroller and wanted to be in your carrier. you clung to my shirt like a little monkey and nestled into me, once again just settling peace into my heart. we got home and i fed you lunch, which you devoured (shredded carrots, grapes, and puffs) and you curled up on me for your second nap. that leo woke you up when dada came home with his and mama's lunch but you remained all smiles and although daddy threatens to get rid of leo for all the trouble he causes, i know we will always be a family.
after lunch, i wanted to take you swimming, daddy and i were a little nervous, we weren't sure if you would like it and were convinced we would pay just to stay there for 20 minutes and have to come home. baby girl, you surprised me in ways i didn't even know were possible. the first 20 minutes you clung to me and snuggled in, overwhelmed by the kids and loud noises but all of the sudden you broke out of your shell and came to life! you were blowing raspberries at the lifeguards, smiling at the other kids, and babbling away to daddy and i. you kept "swimming" back and forth from dad to i. you little legs kicking away and your arms making tiny paddling motions. my little fish is definitely not afraid of the water. i know you lit our hearts up with your pure joy in swimming. watching you enjoy your time with us was the best gift i could have ever been given.
you fell asleep on the way home but it was only a cat nap, i felt for sure you would nap once we got home but you were raring to go! so go we did, for ice cream and you enjoyed your tiny baby cone of vanilla and even got a few bites of cone in before daddy called it quits. both of us had ice cream all over us as you felt the best way to enjoy it was by digging in with your fists. daddy and i stopped at the grocery store with you on the way home and picked you up fresh fruit and you had your first taste of watermelon when we got home. you love your fruit little girl. a bath to clean up and some snuggles and you drifted off to sleep.
baby girl, it is hard to describe what my first birthday was like being a mom, but the only word that really describes it is perfect. i hope you know what you mean to me and how much a part of me you are (after all you lived in my belly!), you are my miracle and my perfect gift. i love you so much my sweet baby girl, thank you for my birthday.
to my husband, my handsome husband, who totally fooled me and gave me the best surprise by getting the day off work when originally i didn't think you would be able to, you are my heart. none of the above would be possible without you. my birthday comes so close to the day we met, which in my heart i feel was a sort of renaissance in my life. it is such a sobering reminder of how unhappy i was the day i turned 23 and i never thought in 3 years that i could be this happy and this fulfilled. i love you more than you will ever know, but i hope i show you at least part of it in our years together. i enjoyed the most perfect day with you and love you more than you know.
all my love, xoxoxx,
bria
dear jim and little a,
yesterday i turned 26. and you made me feel like the luckiest woman alive. baby girl, i will write to you first, you lit up my heart yesterday and i thought it might burst with happiness. your daddy got up with you when you woke up at the ungodly hour of 6:30 and when i came rolling down at 8, you were nothing but smiles. we shared a breakfast together in which you were your usual smiling, happy, babbling self and then we napped together on the couch. your body, which is becoming less tiny by the day, curled into mine, your deep even breaths setting a tone for my day and giving my heart peace. when you woke up, we took the dogs for a (HOT!) trail walk and a little over halfway you decided you were done with the stroller and wanted to be in your carrier. you clung to my shirt like a little monkey and nestled into me, once again just settling peace into my heart. we got home and i fed you lunch, which you devoured (shredded carrots, grapes, and puffs) and you curled up on me for your second nap. that leo woke you up when dada came home with his and mama's lunch but you remained all smiles and although daddy threatens to get rid of leo for all the trouble he causes, i know we will always be a family.
after lunch, i wanted to take you swimming, daddy and i were a little nervous, we weren't sure if you would like it and were convinced we would pay just to stay there for 20 minutes and have to come home. baby girl, you surprised me in ways i didn't even know were possible. the first 20 minutes you clung to me and snuggled in, overwhelmed by the kids and loud noises but all of the sudden you broke out of your shell and came to life! you were blowing raspberries at the lifeguards, smiling at the other kids, and babbling away to daddy and i. you kept "swimming" back and forth from dad to i. you little legs kicking away and your arms making tiny paddling motions. my little fish is definitely not afraid of the water. i know you lit our hearts up with your pure joy in swimming. watching you enjoy your time with us was the best gift i could have ever been given.
you fell asleep on the way home but it was only a cat nap, i felt for sure you would nap once we got home but you were raring to go! so go we did, for ice cream and you enjoyed your tiny baby cone of vanilla and even got a few bites of cone in before daddy called it quits. both of us had ice cream all over us as you felt the best way to enjoy it was by digging in with your fists. daddy and i stopped at the grocery store with you on the way home and picked you up fresh fruit and you had your first taste of watermelon when we got home. you love your fruit little girl. a bath to clean up and some snuggles and you drifted off to sleep.
baby girl, it is hard to describe what my first birthday was like being a mom, but the only word that really describes it is perfect. i hope you know what you mean to me and how much a part of me you are (after all you lived in my belly!), you are my miracle and my perfect gift. i love you so much my sweet baby girl, thank you for my birthday.
to my husband, my handsome husband, who totally fooled me and gave me the best surprise by getting the day off work when originally i didn't think you would be able to, you are my heart. none of the above would be possible without you. my birthday comes so close to the day we met, which in my heart i feel was a sort of renaissance in my life. it is such a sobering reminder of how unhappy i was the day i turned 23 and i never thought in 3 years that i could be this happy and this fulfilled. i love you more than you will ever know, but i hope i show you at least part of it in our years together. i enjoyed the most perfect day with you and love you more than you know.
all my love, xoxoxx,
bria
bleh
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
the weather here in ohio has been extreme lately. we had 30s on monday and it is hitting 80 today. and for some reason the weather seems to reflect my mood swings (lucky hubby!).
this past weekend was my first official mother's day as my little was still a bean last year. and while i was eternally thankful all day for being a mom and definitely filled with joy over my family... i was also exhausted. my m-i-l came into town for the weekend and thus cleaning, hosting, and cooking was my go-to over the weekend. and it was a lovely time and very appreciated by all and the company was enjoyed... but it wasn't exactly relaxing. throw in the fact that little is cutting her top teeth (OHEMGEE WHERE IS TIME GOING!) and she notoriously awakens ALL the time for night feedings during teething has left me going into this week exhausted, frantic, and a little emotional.
a lot of me recently has found myself wishing we lived in a different time. some of my favorite books growing up were little house on the prairie
part of me still wishes we lived in that time. it sucks that my family spends 40+ hours a week being separated. so much of me wishes my husband could just stay home. although i love being a SAHM so much of me is missing that it is almost hard to fully engage myself with her. my fuse is shorter and it shows. on the weekends, when the whole family is together - the unit functions totally different. it's literally almost like we are missing our engine while he is at work.
on top of that you throw in the state of the world and i just can't say i am thrilled with raising a child in this time. of course, there is no alternative - besides getting super rich and buying an island somewhere. but one can't disengage completely and so we are left muddling through, doing the best with the resources at hand. but i think there will always be a part of me that wishes for a simpler time.
in other news, i stopped especially to buy whole fat plain yogurt for my little today and of course had to spend an inordinate amount of time comparing brands and containers, finally decided, paid for it, got all the way home and realized i grabbed french vanilla. mothereklfjkfsljlk. niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.
half written.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
i have a lot of half written posts. writing down my life and what has been happening lately (it's been a lot). but i can't say i have any real interest in finishing them...
as previously mentioned, my husband and i got married pretty quickly, as in less than five months. and during those five months you would have thought i was waiting five years "ohmygosh i am soreadytobemarried already!!!" now i look back on that time and i wish i would have enjoyed it. our somewhat crazy nights out (we were in the process of toning it down as we settled into coupledom), my cruise with my best friend that has ended up being my last friend vacation for a while, our lazy saturday afternoons coupled with nights out to dinner.
sometimes it's easy to look back and think "oh we were so in love then" because of course we were. and it's probably safe to say, i didn't experience quite the same level of frustration with him that i do at times now. but the truth of the matter is, it was just simpler then. life was more simple, no kid, separate bank accounts, buying a house and moving was not on our mind. but "more simple" doesn't mean "more in love" and something needs to be said for the love that endures the complications of life. that's why love has to grow, you cannot love your husband now as much as you did on your wedding day. it's safe to say that if you do, your marriage is in trouble, because it has to grow. just to keep up with the changes you experience, your family experiences. love has to develop to encompass the struggles and the joys that life brings. it's safe to say our life was more simple then, but the depth of joy that i experienced at that time is no where near what i have experienced now, especially as i have added motherhood to the mix.
part of me is wanting to get bogged down in the stress we are facing now. health, finances, it's all there, waiting for me to dwell in it. but i am doing my best to force myself to remember that our life is only going to get more complicated. my daughter's problems will turn into things i can't solve just by rocking her, we'll have even more complicated finances as we add a mortgage into the mix, we'll face aging parents, hopefully we'll add another baby into the mix. there will only be more threads woven in, more ends that will need tied up, so heart treasure this time. these simple days that you spend in your rental with the baby that you love so dearly. treasure the simple love that you have for your husband, knowing in ten years, it will be completely transformed into something even deeper. know that the trials and stress will not go away but as you endure them, they will eventually allow you to experience deep, deep joy as you develop.
"in three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life 'it goes on'" Robert Frost.
time stops for no man, be grateful little heart for right now.
as previously mentioned, my husband and i got married pretty quickly, as in less than five months. and during those five months you would have thought i was waiting five years "ohmygosh i am soreadytobemarried already!!!" now i look back on that time and i wish i would have enjoyed it. our somewhat crazy nights out (we were in the process of toning it down as we settled into coupledom), my cruise with my best friend that has ended up being my last friend vacation for a while, our lazy saturday afternoons coupled with nights out to dinner.
sometimes it's easy to look back and think "oh we were so in love then" because of course we were. and it's probably safe to say, i didn't experience quite the same level of frustration with him that i do at times now. but the truth of the matter is, it was just simpler then. life was more simple, no kid, separate bank accounts, buying a house and moving was not on our mind. but "more simple" doesn't mean "more in love" and something needs to be said for the love that endures the complications of life. that's why love has to grow, you cannot love your husband now as much as you did on your wedding day. it's safe to say that if you do, your marriage is in trouble, because it has to grow. just to keep up with the changes you experience, your family experiences. love has to develop to encompass the struggles and the joys that life brings. it's safe to say our life was more simple then, but the depth of joy that i experienced at that time is no where near what i have experienced now, especially as i have added motherhood to the mix.
part of me is wanting to get bogged down in the stress we are facing now. health, finances, it's all there, waiting for me to dwell in it. but i am doing my best to force myself to remember that our life is only going to get more complicated. my daughter's problems will turn into things i can't solve just by rocking her, we'll have even more complicated finances as we add a mortgage into the mix, we'll face aging parents, hopefully we'll add another baby into the mix. there will only be more threads woven in, more ends that will need tied up, so heart treasure this time. these simple days that you spend in your rental with the baby that you love so dearly. treasure the simple love that you have for your husband, knowing in ten years, it will be completely transformed into something even deeper. know that the trials and stress will not go away but as you endure them, they will eventually allow you to experience deep, deep joy as you develop.
"in three words i can sum up everything i've learned about life 'it goes on'" Robert Frost.
time stops for no man, be grateful little heart for right now.
one of those weeks.
Friday, April 12, 2013
i had a post in my head, about how happy i am to get to friday, how sleep training sucks, how i couldn't get myself together this week. but, i thought about it and i just don't want to remember that stuff this week.
when i re-read this down the line, i want to remember that my six month old gave me lots of kisses and smiles this week, that my husband loves me, and that the whole family was healthy. (rabbit trail: i take my families health for granted SO SO SO SO SO SO SO often, it kills me actually if/when i stop and think about it, be grateful little heart, your preemie is home and doing well with you!)
snapshots from my friday, top left - homemade fettucine alfredo with pan fried chicken and spinach tonight.
bottom left - my husband bought a shower chair... it arrived in a box labeled "guardian" because we are 90 apparently... a shower CHAIR. let's just let that sink in. worst thing about it... where does the monstrosity go when i don't want it in the shower?!?!
center - sleeping baby, door shut during naptime
right - my indulgence at the grocery store today. having tonight for dessert, soooooo pumped.
happy friday friends.
when i re-read this down the line, i want to remember that my six month old gave me lots of kisses and smiles this week, that my husband loves me, and that the whole family was healthy. (rabbit trail: i take my families health for granted SO SO SO SO SO SO SO often, it kills me actually if/when i stop and think about it, be grateful little heart, your preemie is home and doing well with you!)
bottom left - my husband bought a shower chair... it arrived in a box labeled "guardian" because we are 90 apparently... a shower CHAIR. let's just let that sink in. worst thing about it... where does the monstrosity go when i don't want it in the shower?!?!
center - sleeping baby, door shut during naptime
right - my indulgence at the grocery store today. having tonight for dessert, soooooo pumped.
happy friday friends.
catch up
Thursday, March 21, 2013
teething baby and a husband at home has meant lots of family time, not many naps, and not much screen time. so here is a catch up,
(one) i sold my first etsy order! hallelujah ptl, doing my happy dance. i wrote about failure here and although i am still approximately 19003249083429083 orders away from making money, it still feels nice. in celebration, i am offering a coupon code 10% off any order 10 dollars or more, just use coupon code neworder upon check out!
(two) yes there is still snow on the ground where i live, yes i am bitter about this. we are below 20 degrees here people.
(three) baby socks are for the birds, enough said.
(four) i think A is having nightmares. about 45 minutes after we put her to bed we heard panicked crying and when we went into her room she was crying TEARS and looked extremely frightened. now when she normally is just crying in her crib because she wants to get up there are NO tears. i really hope she doesn't suffer from night terrors in the future. it was a terrible feeling. i nursed her and j read a story and she was right back to sleep for the night, but i felt terrible.
(five) i have sampled two new bakeries this week which has left me a little disappointed actually. also my sweet tooth is currently out of control.
(six) i added bloglovin since google reader is adios muchachos! now all you lovies who desperately have wanted to follow me can..! :)
and i am going to link up with ot and et and harvesting kale :) :) :) here's hoping spring will come soon!
cleaning - my house! i got some MUCH needed cleaning in today and it does a soul good.
planning - for my husband's birthday and A's half birthday! we have decided to celebrate half birthdays with all of our kid(s) and i LOVE LOVE LOVE birthdays. surprises await!
planting - nothing, i am lame, there is snow on the ground. i did buy tulips to cheer myself up though.
skipping - i have been skipping cooking recently and it hasn't felt good. we have ordered too much take out and been eating too many chips. i got back in the game today with a crock pot recipe and am hoping that this gets my out of my slump. sometimes you just don't have ideas and even the simplest of recipes seems too complicated to execute.
wearing - my winter jacket. again. still. ridiculous.
(one) i sold my first etsy order! hallelujah ptl, doing my happy dance. i wrote about failure here and although i am still approximately 19003249083429083 orders away from making money, it still feels nice. in celebration, i am offering a coupon code 10% off any order 10 dollars or more, just use coupon code neworder upon check out!
(two) yes there is still snow on the ground where i live, yes i am bitter about this. we are below 20 degrees here people.
(three) baby socks are for the birds, enough said.
(four) i think A is having nightmares. about 45 minutes after we put her to bed we heard panicked crying and when we went into her room she was crying TEARS and looked extremely frightened. now when she normally is just crying in her crib because she wants to get up there are NO tears. i really hope she doesn't suffer from night terrors in the future. it was a terrible feeling. i nursed her and j read a story and she was right back to sleep for the night, but i felt terrible.
(five) i have sampled two new bakeries this week which has left me a little disappointed actually. also my sweet tooth is currently out of control.
(six) i added bloglovin since google reader is adios muchachos! now all you lovies who desperately have wanted to follow me can..! :)
and i am going to link up with ot and et and harvesting kale :) :) :) here's hoping spring will come soon!
cleaning - my house! i got some MUCH needed cleaning in today and it does a soul good.
planning - for my husband's birthday and A's half birthday! we have decided to celebrate half birthdays with all of our kid(s) and i LOVE LOVE LOVE birthdays. surprises await!
planting - nothing, i am lame, there is snow on the ground. i did buy tulips to cheer myself up though.
skipping - i have been skipping cooking recently and it hasn't felt good. we have ordered too much take out and been eating too many chips. i got back in the game today with a crock pot recipe and am hoping that this gets my out of my slump. sometimes you just don't have ideas and even the simplest of recipes seems too complicated to execute.
wearing - my winter jacket. again. still. ridiculous.
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