for years i have struggled, with my weight, my body image, eating habits, even i would say this extends to my inner peace i have felt. i have seesawed from one extreme to another (no you don't have to balloon up and down like oprah to seesaw, thirty pounds can do it).
my eating habits have straightened themselves out for the most part. i am happy with how i eat, feel that i eat well and can definitely tell a difference when i choose to put in crap. but my work outs are another story. i am so extreme in them only "counting" a workout if it am doing the hardest level on a videotape or going for a 3+ mile run. i don't mentally count walking the dogs, chasing my daughter, house cleaning, chasing a toddler, etc. unless i get a check mark from someone saying "good job you worked out" i haven't let it mentally benefit me instead i let the stress of "missing" a work out eat away at me for the day.
the thing with this schedule though, is that i am almost constantly injured. i am having trouble with my hips, knees, and back right now and i know that if i keep this up eventually i won't be able to go through the pain. and the thing is i like running, enough to protect it from my own selfishness. i don't want to have it give it up because i was killing myself on a damn jillian michaels dvd.
so anyways the purpose of this long stream of consciousness is that i want to change what working out means for me. to go from feeling the burn to feeling peace. still completing one long run a week (6+ miles) i want to take the other days to practice yoga, work on my flexibility, and free my hips and back from the pain i have been in. to all working out to become a source of healing in my life instead of pain. to not allow my body image and self to be defined by six pack abs and to allow myself a little grace.
healthy treats and good eats
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
it seems that i am continuously revamping my eating habits. always trying to be healthier and cut out more processed food. during my pregnancy though, i developed quite the sweet tooth and and have since been trying to cut out that darn craving for sugar. that being said, recently i have redoubled my efforts as i now have a little one that is not only interested in food and what mommy's eating but will also be eating everything that we eat very very soon. i am definitely inspired to continuously step up y eating and focus on eating whole foods. that being said, i am still going to be making my killer cakes on the weekends!
here is what i have been enjoying recently
avocado and egg over hard. a little bit of salt and hot sauce and this is a delicious lunch high in protein and the good for you fat!!!
coconut milk and chia seeds (thank you danielle at sometimes sweet for this recipe via instagram! i have loved it!)
take one can of coconut milk and mix with 1/4 cup chia seeds for every cup of milk, refrigerate for two hours and top with berries and a little agave nectar/honey if desired! it comes out the consistency of a rich custard and was so satisfying.
beets - i have busted out my juicer again and am hard at work making a juice first thing in the morning. i started juicing beets this morning and was pleasantly surprised not only by how pretty they made my juice look but also their pleasant and subtle flavor!
so those have been my go to recently. anyone have any healthy secrets or favorite foods to share? i love how easy the above "recipes" or flavor combinations are, that's one of the great things about whole foods - the flavor is there you don't need to add much!
here is what i have been enjoying recently
avocado and egg over hard. a little bit of salt and hot sauce and this is a delicious lunch high in protein and the good for you fat!!!
coconut milk and chia seeds (thank you danielle at sometimes sweet for this recipe via instagram! i have loved it!)
take one can of coconut milk and mix with 1/4 cup chia seeds for every cup of milk, refrigerate for two hours and top with berries and a little agave nectar/honey if desired! it comes out the consistency of a rich custard and was so satisfying.
beets - i have busted out my juicer again and am hard at work making a juice first thing in the morning. i started juicing beets this morning and was pleasantly surprised not only by how pretty they made my juice look but also their pleasant and subtle flavor!
Thursday, July 25, 2013
ya'll. tomorrow is our very very first road trip as a family! i am so excited to be visiting family out of town and introduce our precious baby to her extended family. words cannot even describe. i have been like a kid before christmas this whole week. there is something about getting together with kin that makes my heart feel so whole. so hopefully i will have pictures to share!
in other news, we finally broke down and sleep trained. tuesday night i listened to my baby girl cry for 67 heartbreaking minutes. it was terrible, we couldn't eat, barely talked, it ruined my whole night. but you guys... after that she is sleeping through the night and taking her naps on a consistent basis!!! i am so happy that she is FINALLY getting the rest she needs after months of night wakings/no consistent naps. i know it's been two days but it was literally like a miracle overnight! last night we went from 6pm to 6am!!! i am just happy she is getting the rest she needs for her development.
so peace out till after the weekend. hopefully you will see more of me on here now that i am not constantly holding a baby! hallelujah!!!
in other news, we finally broke down and sleep trained. tuesday night i listened to my baby girl cry for 67 heartbreaking minutes. it was terrible, we couldn't eat, barely talked, it ruined my whole night. but you guys... after that she is sleeping through the night and taking her naps on a consistent basis!!! i am so happy that she is FINALLY getting the rest she needs after months of night wakings/no consistent naps. i know it's been two days but it was literally like a miracle overnight! last night we went from 6pm to 6am!!! i am just happy she is getting the rest she needs for her development.
so peace out till after the weekend. hopefully you will see more of me on here now that i am not constantly holding a baby! hallelujah!!!
firsts.
Thursday, July 18, 2013
part of the reason having a baby is so fun is because of the firsts. first time saying "mama" first time taking a step, first time to disneyland (OHEMGEE CANNOT WAIT)
but there's also the first illness, the first time being teased, the first heartbreak.
my poor little is sick, for the first time, and while i feel lucky we went nine months without any illness... it doesn't make this one any easier. my vivacious and active baby has turned into a limp little ragdoll. and there is nothing i can do besides almost constant nursing and cuddles and advil every six hours. last night we slept on the couch together since it's cooler downstairs, her little inferno of a body curled into mine. and while i would do anything to take her illness for her, this has almost been a trip down memory lane to that tiny newborn who i did nothing for but constant nursing and cuddles. here's hoping we will be back up and running by the weekend.
in an unrelated note, this has been lacking some pics recently so... here you go!
but there's also the first illness, the first time being teased, the first heartbreak.
my poor little is sick, for the first time, and while i feel lucky we went nine months without any illness... it doesn't make this one any easier. my vivacious and active baby has turned into a limp little ragdoll. and there is nothing i can do besides almost constant nursing and cuddles and advil every six hours. last night we slept on the couch together since it's cooler downstairs, her little inferno of a body curled into mine. and while i would do anything to take her illness for her, this has almost been a trip down memory lane to that tiny newborn who i did nothing for but constant nursing and cuddles. here's hoping we will be back up and running by the weekend.
in an unrelated note, this has been lacking some pics recently so... here you go!
we are heading into double digits next month! yikes!!!
her uncle calls this her "mad scientist" face, it happens all.the.time. and i LOVE it.
someone (me!) turned 26 the other day. baby was less than impressed with the singing and candles.
welcoming in 26.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
**disclaimer, my laptop is back up and running!! hallelujah ptl! i apologize for my conspicuous absence on the blog while that was going on, but it was nice to be unplugged for a while and not having a computer definitely does that.
dear jim and little a,
yesterday i turned 26. and you made me feel like the luckiest woman alive. baby girl, i will write to you first, you lit up my heart yesterday and i thought it might burst with happiness. your daddy got up with you when you woke up at the ungodly hour of 6:30 and when i came rolling down at 8, you were nothing but smiles. we shared a breakfast together in which you were your usual smiling, happy, babbling self and then we napped together on the couch. your body, which is becoming less tiny by the day, curled into mine, your deep even breaths setting a tone for my day and giving my heart peace. when you woke up, we took the dogs for a (HOT!) trail walk and a little over halfway you decided you were done with the stroller and wanted to be in your carrier. you clung to my shirt like a little monkey and nestled into me, once again just settling peace into my heart. we got home and i fed you lunch, which you devoured (shredded carrots, grapes, and puffs) and you curled up on me for your second nap. that leo woke you up when dada came home with his and mama's lunch but you remained all smiles and although daddy threatens to get rid of leo for all the trouble he causes, i know we will always be a family.
after lunch, i wanted to take you swimming, daddy and i were a little nervous, we weren't sure if you would like it and were convinced we would pay just to stay there for 20 minutes and have to come home. baby girl, you surprised me in ways i didn't even know were possible. the first 20 minutes you clung to me and snuggled in, overwhelmed by the kids and loud noises but all of the sudden you broke out of your shell and came to life! you were blowing raspberries at the lifeguards, smiling at the other kids, and babbling away to daddy and i. you kept "swimming" back and forth from dad to i. you little legs kicking away and your arms making tiny paddling motions. my little fish is definitely not afraid of the water. i know you lit our hearts up with your pure joy in swimming. watching you enjoy your time with us was the best gift i could have ever been given.
you fell asleep on the way home but it was only a cat nap, i felt for sure you would nap once we got home but you were raring to go! so go we did, for ice cream and you enjoyed your tiny baby cone of vanilla and even got a few bites of cone in before daddy called it quits. both of us had ice cream all over us as you felt the best way to enjoy it was by digging in with your fists. daddy and i stopped at the grocery store with you on the way home and picked you up fresh fruit and you had your first taste of watermelon when we got home. you love your fruit little girl. a bath to clean up and some snuggles and you drifted off to sleep.
baby girl, it is hard to describe what my first birthday was like being a mom, but the only word that really describes it is perfect. i hope you know what you mean to me and how much a part of me you are (after all you lived in my belly!), you are my miracle and my perfect gift. i love you so much my sweet baby girl, thank you for my birthday.
to my husband, my handsome husband, who totally fooled me and gave me the best surprise by getting the day off work when originally i didn't think you would be able to, you are my heart. none of the above would be possible without you. my birthday comes so close to the day we met, which in my heart i feel was a sort of renaissance in my life. it is such a sobering reminder of how unhappy i was the day i turned 23 and i never thought in 3 years that i could be this happy and this fulfilled. i love you more than you will ever know, but i hope i show you at least part of it in our years together. i enjoyed the most perfect day with you and love you more than you know.
all my love, xoxoxx,
bria
dear jim and little a,
yesterday i turned 26. and you made me feel like the luckiest woman alive. baby girl, i will write to you first, you lit up my heart yesterday and i thought it might burst with happiness. your daddy got up with you when you woke up at the ungodly hour of 6:30 and when i came rolling down at 8, you were nothing but smiles. we shared a breakfast together in which you were your usual smiling, happy, babbling self and then we napped together on the couch. your body, which is becoming less tiny by the day, curled into mine, your deep even breaths setting a tone for my day and giving my heart peace. when you woke up, we took the dogs for a (HOT!) trail walk and a little over halfway you decided you were done with the stroller and wanted to be in your carrier. you clung to my shirt like a little monkey and nestled into me, once again just settling peace into my heart. we got home and i fed you lunch, which you devoured (shredded carrots, grapes, and puffs) and you curled up on me for your second nap. that leo woke you up when dada came home with his and mama's lunch but you remained all smiles and although daddy threatens to get rid of leo for all the trouble he causes, i know we will always be a family.
after lunch, i wanted to take you swimming, daddy and i were a little nervous, we weren't sure if you would like it and were convinced we would pay just to stay there for 20 minutes and have to come home. baby girl, you surprised me in ways i didn't even know were possible. the first 20 minutes you clung to me and snuggled in, overwhelmed by the kids and loud noises but all of the sudden you broke out of your shell and came to life! you were blowing raspberries at the lifeguards, smiling at the other kids, and babbling away to daddy and i. you kept "swimming" back and forth from dad to i. you little legs kicking away and your arms making tiny paddling motions. my little fish is definitely not afraid of the water. i know you lit our hearts up with your pure joy in swimming. watching you enjoy your time with us was the best gift i could have ever been given.
you fell asleep on the way home but it was only a cat nap, i felt for sure you would nap once we got home but you were raring to go! so go we did, for ice cream and you enjoyed your tiny baby cone of vanilla and even got a few bites of cone in before daddy called it quits. both of us had ice cream all over us as you felt the best way to enjoy it was by digging in with your fists. daddy and i stopped at the grocery store with you on the way home and picked you up fresh fruit and you had your first taste of watermelon when we got home. you love your fruit little girl. a bath to clean up and some snuggles and you drifted off to sleep.
baby girl, it is hard to describe what my first birthday was like being a mom, but the only word that really describes it is perfect. i hope you know what you mean to me and how much a part of me you are (after all you lived in my belly!), you are my miracle and my perfect gift. i love you so much my sweet baby girl, thank you for my birthday.
to my husband, my handsome husband, who totally fooled me and gave me the best surprise by getting the day off work when originally i didn't think you would be able to, you are my heart. none of the above would be possible without you. my birthday comes so close to the day we met, which in my heart i feel was a sort of renaissance in my life. it is such a sobering reminder of how unhappy i was the day i turned 23 and i never thought in 3 years that i could be this happy and this fulfilled. i love you more than you will ever know, but i hope i show you at least part of it in our years together. i enjoyed the most perfect day with you and love you more than you know.
all my love, xoxoxx,
bria
oh july! july!
Monday, July 1, 2013
And just like that another month of summer begins...
I have been neglectful of this place recently.. but I think I needed tye break. Plus my laptop is broken (wah wah) so I am currently typing this on a tablet (yuck) and will have a severe lack of pictures.
But I am thankful for July... it feels like a fresh slate. For a long time in my oife I could never really describe myself as happy and I can now and it feels good. The cloud over my head has dissipated, I don't constantly fear the future. It is refreshing to take my happiness at face value instead of constantly searching for what was going to go wrong
Saturday I had a mini break down w the hubby which althouhh doesnt seem to fit in w the theme of happiness... does. You guys.... I was just so exhausted, which sounds so trivial right? But I was just left feeling empty. But after I cried and admitted how tired I was, I felt so much lighter, even though my amount of sleep remained the same. Sharing burdens really does help, amen?
I have also taken some time off running after a knee injury had me hobbling last week and I really think I needed it. Running eight miles isn't worth it if I end up just being a bitch all day because I am so tired.
I am looking forwwrd to sharing photos and more thoughts once that computer is up and runningbut for now I am resting and taking in summer and enjoying my beautiful family,
Welcome back july, it's nife to see you again.
I have been neglectful of this place recently.. but I think I needed tye break. Plus my laptop is broken (wah wah) so I am currently typing this on a tablet (yuck) and will have a severe lack of pictures.
But I am thankful for July... it feels like a fresh slate. For a long time in my oife I could never really describe myself as happy and I can now and it feels good. The cloud over my head has dissipated, I don't constantly fear the future. It is refreshing to take my happiness at face value instead of constantly searching for what was going to go wrong
Saturday I had a mini break down w the hubby which althouhh doesnt seem to fit in w the theme of happiness... does. You guys.... I was just so exhausted, which sounds so trivial right? But I was just left feeling empty. But after I cried and admitted how tired I was, I felt so much lighter, even though my amount of sleep remained the same. Sharing burdens really does help, amen?
I have also taken some time off running after a knee injury had me hobbling last week and I really think I needed it. Running eight miles isn't worth it if I end up just being a bitch all day because I am so tired.
I am looking forwwrd to sharing photos and more thoughts once that computer is up and runningbut for now I am resting and taking in summer and enjoying my beautiful family,
Welcome back july, it's nife to see you again.
the truth.
Thursday, June 13, 2013
"you can't handle the truth"
confession, i have never seen a few good men. i am planning on watching this along with other movies i deem "must see" that were either just before my time or i never got around to watching (ie. the godfather among others) soon.
ahh the truth, the truth is my baby is in full blown sleep regression and i am now getting up 5+ times a night leading to very tearful mornings (me not her)
the truth is i no longer believe in any sleep training miracles and am not letting her "cry it out" much to the chagrin of some of the moms i know...
the truth is that sometimes, i just don't feel like writing. not getting sleep and trying to train for my half is leaving me ex-hausted. at seven pm when i normally go for my run, my sneakers feel like they have lead in them. my eyelids are already heavy and what i really want to do is curl up on the couch with chips and cookies and watch seinfeld till i go upstairs. the truth is, is that even without a outside of the home job, i still have weeks where i'm not pulled together, where parenting makes me feel at a loss, where we have more meals out of our microwave than i am proud of.
but other than tears and unhealthy meals. i have had bright spots. i need to get better about including more pictures of the happenings around here, which means i need to get better at taking them.... but here we go
currently
eating: grilled food and lots of it on the weekends, burgers, brats, grilled veggies, steak, it's all coming my way and we don't have to turn on the oven AND my husband does the majority of the cooking, win win win!
planning: for my bestie to get in her 15 hours!!! OHEMGEE. since she went southern over two years ago, our get togethers are few and far in between. but (hopefully that will be changing) always always appreciated. she hasn't seen baby since december so the changes will be remarkable and of course i am looking forward to her company
also i am planning for fathers day!!!!!!!!!!! as you all remember, i love birthdays and any surprise days! i am working out a full blown menu for fathers day and am using this to jump start my meal planning next week (holla i am pulling it together!) so far i am waiting on the husband to decide what he wants for dessert but i will be sure to take pictures (check!) and share what we have planned. i will also share the video i made for him.
loving: my new tattoo! i went on monday and finally got my inner arm tattoo done. i love having a reminder of my mom so close to my heart
feeling: like a bad ass because my favorite tattoo artist remembered me and i haven't had her do a tattoo in 2+ years. again, as someone who moonlights in pink cardigans by day, having a tattoo artist think i am legit is an honor i do not take lightly. also i feel way more bad ass that with my 10 tattoo i am finally confident enough to start having my ink show.
reading: i have been a book whore recently. i raced through love the one you're with and heart of the matter by emily giffin and am now reading delirium by lauren oliver. i like(d) all three but preferred love the one you're with over heart of the matter.
and just because i can't help it.
confession, i have never seen a few good men. i am planning on watching this along with other movies i deem "must see" that were either just before my time or i never got around to watching (ie. the godfather among others) soon.
ahh the truth, the truth is my baby is in full blown sleep regression and i am now getting up 5+ times a night leading to very tearful mornings (me not her)
the truth is i no longer believe in any sleep training miracles and am not letting her "cry it out" much to the chagrin of some of the moms i know...
the truth is that sometimes, i just don't feel like writing. not getting sleep and trying to train for my half is leaving me ex-hausted. at seven pm when i normally go for my run, my sneakers feel like they have lead in them. my eyelids are already heavy and what i really want to do is curl up on the couch with chips and cookies and watch seinfeld till i go upstairs. the truth is, is that even without a outside of the home job, i still have weeks where i'm not pulled together, where parenting makes me feel at a loss, where we have more meals out of our microwave than i am proud of.
but other than tears and unhealthy meals. i have had bright spots. i need to get better about including more pictures of the happenings around here, which means i need to get better at taking them.... but here we go
currently
eating: grilled food and lots of it on the weekends, burgers, brats, grilled veggies, steak, it's all coming my way and we don't have to turn on the oven AND my husband does the majority of the cooking, win win win!
planning: for my bestie to get in her 15 hours!!! OHEMGEE. since she went southern over two years ago, our get togethers are few and far in between. but (hopefully that will be changing) always always appreciated. she hasn't seen baby since december so the changes will be remarkable and of course i am looking forward to her company
also i am planning for fathers day!!!!!!!!!!! as you all remember, i love birthdays and any surprise days! i am working out a full blown menu for fathers day and am using this to jump start my meal planning next week (holla i am pulling it together!) so far i am waiting on the husband to decide what he wants for dessert but i will be sure to take pictures (check!) and share what we have planned. i will also share the video i made for him.
loving: my new tattoo! i went on monday and finally got my inner arm tattoo done. i love having a reminder of my mom so close to my heart
feeling: like a bad ass because my favorite tattoo artist remembered me and i haven't had her do a tattoo in 2+ years. again, as someone who moonlights in pink cardigans by day, having a tattoo artist think i am legit is an honor i do not take lightly. also i feel way more bad ass that with my 10 tattoo i am finally confident enough to start having my ink show.
reading: i have been a book whore recently. i raced through love the one you're with and heart of the matter by emily giffin and am now reading delirium by lauren oliver. i like(d) all three but preferred love the one you're with over heart of the matter.
and just because i can't help it.
bad-ass.
give me that banana mom.
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