this has been a weird year.  i am sad today, regardless of the outcome, i would have been sad.  this election has been brutal... like most of my 2016.  i just keep picking myself up off the floor.  because addy needs me.

a mom who can face loss, day in day out.  and still smile at her, still laugh with her, still tickle her.  the hits just keep on coming.  it is difficult right now to smile and to keep pushing forward in my life. yes, i've faced personal loss but there is also the future to think about, my kids future to think about.  our country, our climate... it's been a rough ride, a very rough ride.

today though, we mourn.  we mourn, because regardless of who you voted for, this was not a character driven election, we mourn because right now we are sad, and divided, and scared.  today we mourn.

but in my mourning i remind myself that he does not speak for me, or my house, or my kids.  that he has no personal influence on how i treat people on a daily basis.  that regardless of who is president the world would be a better place if we all just let people in during heavy traffic.  that the president cannot and will not influence how i treat my neighbors, my friends, and my enemies.

it starts with me, my volunteering, my example to addy.  it starts with a single mom who is confident of herself and her children, who will protect and set an example, who loves everyone even the people spewing hate, but one who will not be walked on, who will stand up for values and women and the marginalized.  it starts with me.

i will not rest and let the government be the change, i am the change.  it starts with me.