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just a mom.

when I first started staying at home, I was really uncomfortable with the idea of being "just a stay at home mom" I was used to earning an income, used to having an identity outside of the home.  So I started a baby headband business on etsy, after all what else was I going to do with all this extra time while the baby napped? (KICKING MYSELF NOW... WHAT THE HECK!)

Needless to say, my business failed, I was at best a poor imitation of some great,

great baby headbands out there.  Plus every time I put them on my little... they just seemed uncomfortable.  Plus she got older, I started nannying and that free time I slowly whittled away and I put my business ideas to rest.

I am at a point where I am comfortable being "just a stay at home mom."  I truly believe that the most important thing I can poor my energy into these days is my toddler who demands most of it.  I don't want to be ashamed of staying at home or raising my daughters.  However, I also don't want to go after dreams just because I am scared.  I was really caught by the quote from Noelle Pikus-Pace who rocked it in the Olympics this year.

"You don't have to choose.  My family always comes first.  I want my kids to know that you can achieve your dreams even as a mom.  I don't want to give up, because what kind of example would that set?  It's about going for a medal along with my family."

I was so caught by those words... you can achieve your dreams - even as a mom.  I know in my heart, that even as a mom and maybe BECAUSE I am a mom, there is something out there for me.  I am not sure what it is going to look like or when it will come to me - just because I feel assured of something in my heart doesn't mean it's coming tomorrow.  However, I am going to put feelers out there in my mind background... what would bring ME happiness, what would be feasible time-wise, monetary concerns aside - what are my passions. 

I know I love to write, even though it's sporadically, I know I love to cook and bake especially.  So this year, I am going to let those things ruminate and know in my heart I am still able to go after my dreams. 

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Dear Cavs,

Our playoff season started the day my five week old daughter, Elly, passed away, twelve days later my husband also died suddenly.
Your road to the finals, so fraught with emotion was also the start of a very difficult, seemingly impossible journey for me.

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