hello hallo!

January is over over over on Friday at midnight!  And although I am all about staying present present present, I am excited to welcome February.

Although February is kind of a trickster, because you think to yourself "it will be nicer" and it never ever is.... it does have the following positives:

it's shorter
it has Valentine's Day (I LAOVE Valentine's Day up in here! yes yes yes, red hearts! cookies! chocolate! bring it on!
it's shorter
march follows it


things have been rough around the edges.  I find myself saying "ADELYNN!" in that sharp tone of voice I thought I would never ever do more often than I care to admit.  I have to remind myself that my toddler isn't doing things just to spite me.  Like when I've made her three separate dinners and she throws my organic ground beef to the dogs...  or when she repeatedly tries to rip out the TV cords... or stand on furniture... or SCREAM at the top of her lungs when for god's sake I am just trying to wipe YOUR LUNCH FROM YOUR FACE.

but life right now is good.  at this time last year, Jim and I's relationship had taken a major hit from adding a child.  It was not an easy transition.  I went from my whole sense of self being defined at work and going out, etc to taking care of a tiny human full time and not working outside the home.  We had trouble communicating, lots of trouble and winter doesn't help any.  It is a breathe of fresh air to be on the same page this year.  We have had a lot of extraneous matters pop up this month that have been outside our control and at the end of the day we have found our comfort and hope in each other.  It's not a bad place to be at.  I am so thankful to have a partner, to have my person.  To look at someone at the end of the day and know that in five minutes, five years, twenty years, that's who I will be looking at. 

Yesterday I told Jim "when Adelynn is grown and married and has kids of her own we will still have each other." It's a sobering thought in more ways than one, my baby who takes up all of my free time now will move on and move out, Jim and I will be left with the foundation that we built and I don't want to be left with a stranger then.  It is part of the reason it is so important to me to keep my relationship strong.  We will eventually only have each other again.  So you have to build this force, flexible enough to handle these outside forces that demand all of your skill and strong enough to just be comfortable with the two of you.

And because this was a total tangent of thought that I wasn't planning on, hello rabbit trail.  I will leave you of a pic of my cutie, cutie, cutie pie, who I should mention, at just shy of 16 months is giving the best fucking hugs you could ask for.  I mean these hugs could bring peace to just about any conflict.  I just stand there and hold this lanky little girl who has her still chubby hands wrapped around my neck and breathe in the scent of aquaphor and eucerin and my eyes tear and my heart stops for that moment. 

sleeping beauty who passed out at Christmas dinner.  lololol.

toddler tantrums... err favorites.

hello toddlerhood.

how nice of you to join us in the dead of winter, in ohio, where there is just too too too many options for us to get out and about.

okay, enough sarcasm.  yes this winter has been/is difficult and I may or may not feel like I am currently an inpatient in an asylum, but I wanted to do a quick post and share what I feel is a true treasure trove.  and that is the following recipe


Banana/Spinach Smoothie:

• half a banana
• handlful of spinach
• tablespoon of peanut butter
• splash of whole milk

throw everything together and blend blend blend.  adelynn literally EATS THIS UP.  she LOVES it.  I've tried different smoothie recipes with her and none have had the success that this one has.  I think it is the peanut butter as she sniffs every smoothie I make and only really drinks this one.  plus I love that she is getting all the health benefits but especially the RAW SPINACH!

 I make this in our nutribullet in the short size cup which proves to be the perfect size for her but it can easily be made in a blender.  In the summer I will most likely freeze the banana for a different texture/colder drink.

Hopefully some of your toddlers/picky eaters enjoy this as well and I PROMISE to be back later this week with some more posting :)

hesitancy.

I started this blog almost a year ago and it has definitely not lived up to what I was planning for it.  I was envisioning a source of income, an outlet, and a way to make friends.  However, this does come at a trade-off.  I am not a fashion blogger and haven't been able to master being a cooking blogger although I would love to.  I don't to great with pictures and haven't been consistent in my posting.  A large online presence comes at a trade-off.  I have struggled this year with giving strangers an intimate view at my day and my daughter's day.  I don't know exactly what the right parameters to establish are and I am not sure where this blog is going to go.

I'm not ready to give up on it though and I am hoping to carve out some time and space to work on this little online presence and develop it, hopefully into something meaningful both for myself and for others (hello run-on sentence!).  Bear with me as I aim to do this but in the meantime...



here is what we've been up to.

had one year photos taken

celebrated Christmas (ahh no pictures yet!) but this was the best and most magical Christmas ever.  my little jelly bean was so overwhelmed when she came down the stairs and saw all the presents.  I don't think she knew what to think but then she saw some blocks and was like "oh cool I get to play with this!" we stayed home for the first time ever and it was wonderful.  I wore leggings all day, we chowed down on monkey bread, coffee, a Christmas ham and mimosas.  My parents stopped by for a couple hours and dropped off our gifts, the wagon was a huge hit with Adelynn. 

made resolutions for the new year.  I have a lot of new years resolutions and I have always enjoyed making my lists and striving to be intentional with my year.  I post my list on the refrigerator and keep track of my goals.  But my main theme for this year is getting to know myself and being ok with it.  I almost want to make a cute wall hang of "Be Yourself" and I know it is so sesame street, but I am 26 and a mom and I don't want this insecurity hanging about any longer.  I want to inspire Adelynn to always be ok with herself whether she loves tattoos or hates them, whether she gets married or stays single, if cats and singing are her thing awesome, if she is more into grunge music and skateboarding - that's cool too.  I am doing nothing for the world, myself, and most importantly, my family but letting doubt in.  Last year I talked worry this year- it's self doubt.  Jim always says to me that I constantly underestimate myself and what I can do.  I resolve to work on this.

enjoying my family - having kids seriously speeds up your life.  one minute you are looking at this tiny little newborn with curled fists and closed eyes and the next thing you know they are walking around, screaming, dancing, just in general having a kick ass time with their life.  My daughter enjoys her life so fully and I want to be just like that.  I spend/spent so much time worrying about things and (soapbox moment) life is SHORT.  Things are flying by faster than anything.  The twenties are a rough stage, you are figuring yourself out, figuring life out, At the start of this decade I was unattached, still in school with no bills or worries, halfway through I had a husband, a household, and a kid!  It's a lot and there are tons of changes, so it's best to just buckle up and enjoy it while you can!

i haven't given up.

I haven't given up on this blog.  I am still breathing, eating, sleeping, being a mom.

I want to revamp and renew and will be back soon :)