i know, i know.

there has been a lot going on this week (months really).  I have been processing and figuring out what I want to do.  I've had a job offer that I had to mull over and (separately) was debating trying to reenter the work force.  Staying at home, at times, is difficult.  There are so many issues to overcome just as a female in this world.  At times, my pride wants me to earn an income, my being wants to interact with adults, in an adult setting, and I grow weary and tired of being at home.

In today's society in general, it can be difficult to truly flesh out what we want.  When there are a hundred different options flashing in your face at all times, the grass tends to look greener.   But wherever you go, there you are.  I think what really brought this home for me was moving.  My husband and I closed on our house in March.  I thought this would solve all my problems, - how could I be discontent when I got the house I wanted?  Yet, the dissatisfaction still lingered.  It crept up within me like an itch you can't quite get rid off.  So the other night, I knew there would be no sleep in the cards for me, and I finally just sat with myself and the discontent, the knowledge about what my family needs right now, and what the future looks like for us. 

So - blogging is back on the plate.  I am lucky enough to have a rare opportunity to seek out my passions and that is what I am going to be looking to do.  I love the blogging community and truly want to connect and write.  So that is what I will do - it might be a couple posts a week, or once a month but they will all be written from my heart and not in an effort to gain readership or sponsored posts. 

If I could wish one thing for myself, its that I could enter a season of true contentment within my life and myself.  So often, my discontent with myself seeps into my life and leaves me feeling hollow.  I am ready to leave this behind and enter a new season.  So everyone with me now, wherever you go- there you are.

Addy at 2.5

Me: what do you want for breakfast
Her: I need fruitons! (Croutons)
Me: no, we can't have croutons for breakfast
Her: why am I mad?
Me: why are you mad?
Her: because you don't love me

At 2.5 years, my little is learning so much.  And at times, it overwhelms me.  Her fierce spirit frightens my timid nature and overwhelms my sensitive soul.  She is so sensitive too though, a combination of both my husband and I to her core.  Her emotions are intensely felt and she is before my eyes transforming into a child and leaving toddlerhood behind.  So I am taking a page from her book, following my dream and hopefully setting an example I would be proud to have her follow.

Sound cryptic? Could be because I am typing this out instead of sleeping.  There will be more to come.  I just read this post though from Kelle, and God I hope I have the guts to live that example.  Addy, at 2.5 you have taught me more than all that has come before you.  Here is to being you.