Sometimes it gets heavy. The feeling on my chest of just not quite being able to breathe as freely as I should. The slight trembling in my hands. The wracking of my brain—— what did I do differently
Today? Why am I upset today? What is wrong with me that I can’t get a grip on myself. Why am I so mean? Why do I shut down?
Don’t touch me
Leave me alone
I’ve read 101 books on positive mindsets, on shifting your perspective, on turning trials into triumphs and still sometimes I get stuck in this mud. I can’t seem to pull myself out. The thoughts are there. You’ll always be like this Bria. It’s not going to get better.
So I sit with those thoughts. I invite them in and give them a cup of coffee. I ask why they made their entrance today. We sit and cry together. It’s dark today and I need a blanket to stay warm.
He feels left out, they feel left out.
I don’t know how to let anyone in. I am a prisoner - I don’t have the keys (you think they’d give them to me?). I sit quietly in my cell- sometimes I get tired of trying.
Wats the point in trying when trees can strike you down?
What’s the point in trying when you still have bad days?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments