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the gap.

when you left (left me)
i had a gap
it was big (daunting)
like the grand canyon getting stuffed in
a sandwich bag

could i fill it?
of course,
i could and i tried
new.new.new

i tried (everything)
hair? clothes? shoes?
they all came pristine
in their boxes, unmarred by society

and every time they arrived
i seemed less dirty
less marred and scarred
here's your delivery ma'am

and i received them all as
third party as could be
"oh is this for me?"
i deserve (it) 's been a hard year

and then, the year passed. 2017-
it entered, quietly.  
slipping into my bed unannounced
after hours like a lover

and more packages came and i
i looked at them and said
thank you for coming but i 
i don't need you anymore

you see, there is no gap
i am whole
in my healing, i am whole
and out the door they went

and i leaned into myself
tapping into the energy that was always
(always) available to be made 
useful and complete

and i said thank you.
thank you to the packages
thank you to the temporary
and thank you to the permanent

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