alive? yep. still pregnant? yep.

i feel like the only acceptable reason for such a long pause in blogging is that my baby came early.  he hasn't.  I am still pregnant.  however, my hubby did have last week off work and then the holiday weekend as well so we have spent the last ten days soaking up some of our last moments as a family of 3.  last year on his vacation we traveled to NC for half of the time.  while we had great moments visiting, it was so nice this year to do a "staycation" there are so many daily things that he misses out on with A.  It was neat to drag him along to all of our normal outings (zoo, library, ice cream, etc) and not miss naps, not deal with bedtime drama being out of the house, etc. etc.  Addy is a great traveler, but not a good sleeper on trips, so things can become real stressful, real fast.

anyways.  the past 10 days were great.  I have some pictures to share with you.  but alas, not on this post.  just picture lots of my little one smiling, me smiling because I had awesome help, was napping all the time, etc.

Recently I discovered this blog.  Have you all been there?  I love it.  Yesterday her book was an amazon daily deal for $1.99.  While I would still like to get a hard copy for the pictures, I did scoop it up and have already devoured a quarter of it.  She speaks a lot to not being perfect and letting our houses reflect that life is imperfect.  It's really resonating with me at this time since perfectionism is still something I struggle with.  It's hard for me to not wish I was perfect.  It's hard for me to admit faults and say, that's ok.

I can be a very candid person and I have no trouble admitting certain things.  Which is why, for a lot of my life people have thought they knew me really well when they didn't really know me at all.  I've struggled with an eating disorder, I've had debt, I was drinking way too much before I met my husband... knowing these facts can make it easy for someone to think they know me.  The complicated stuff goes way beyond those facts though. 

A lot of my "true" issues, I have touched on through this very blog.  Being too scared to try, being afraid of failure, wanting to be perfect.  These are the issues that day to day, I am trying my best to process and work through.  There is such a learning curve to this life, isn't there?  I guess what I am trying to say is, it's okay.

It's okay for me and it's okay for you.  It's okay to say we don't have it figured out, that we aren't the best parents some days, that we have debt, that we are still renting, that we have lost jobs or walked away from jobs that should have been taken.

It's okay to admit our faults. 

I wasn't meaning to get so heavy with this.  Blame it on the pregnancy hormones I guess, I promise to be back with lighter stuff this week.