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got my wind.

in 2010 i completed my first and only half marathon so far.

it's hard to believe it's been 3 years.  last year i had signed up and paid for what would have been my second one... i made this decision about 5 days before that pregnancy test popped up positive.  i know some people do it but this girl was not about to run a half 8 months pregnant.  so that race went by the wayside.

ever since i found out i was pregnant.  i knew i would need to complete another half post-baby.  i think mostly just to prove to myself i can do it.  that i haven't "lost it" as a mom.  and i finally made up my mind that this is going to be my goal and that i will accomplish it.

to complete (1) half marathon by the time my little turns 1.

since the weather has finally broken here, i've laced up my shoes a couple of times and gone out for "training" (so b.a. am i right?!).  aaaaaaand... it was rough.  since i've been doing my awesome awful video tapes i wasn't going in blind, but my wind was gone.  i was panting like a dog 1 mile in, getting stitches in my side, wondering if i was dying, just overall doing the opposite of killing it.  i pretty much looked ridiculous each and every time i went out and would come back home and remark "my wind is gone my wind is gone!"

i am happy to announce, i am back baby.  i went out yesterday and pounded out for an hour like it was nothing, i could have kept going! it was such a relief to just be outside, the rhythmic steps, the fresh air, the music pounding, knowing that i am a runner, knowing that this is where i find some of my most peaceful moments, knowing that i am strong enough to set hard goals that take work and accomplish them.  there are so many moments where i feel so incomplete, that i'm not doing enough, i lose my patient/temper, i don't communicate, i fail.

i refuse to let that be my focus though, i refuse to let my shortcomings define me.  so that's my goal, 1 half marathon completed by the time little is 1.  i have just under six months to accomplish it and every time i run i imagine myself crossing the finish line and giving her what will most likely be a very sweaty kiss.

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