Skip to main content

catch up

teething baby and a husband at home has meant lots of family time, not many naps, and not much screen time.  so here is a catch up,

(one) i sold my first etsy order!  hallelujah ptl, doing my happy dance.  i wrote about failure here and although i am still approximately 19003249083429083 orders away from making money, it still feels nice.  in celebration, i am offering a coupon code 10% off any order 10 dollars or more, just use coupon code neworder upon check out!

(two) yes there is still snow on the ground where i live, yes i am bitter about this.  we are below 20 degrees here people.

(three) baby socks are for the birds, enough said.

(four) i think A is having nightmares.  about 45 minutes after we put her to bed we heard panicked crying and when we went into her room she was crying TEARS and looked extremely frightened.  now when she normally is just crying in her crib because she wants to get up there are NO tears.  i really hope she doesn't suffer from night terrors in the future.  it was a terrible feeling.  i nursed her and j read a story and she was right back to sleep for the night, but i felt terrible.

(five) i have sampled two new bakeries this week which has left me a little disappointed actually.  also my sweet tooth is currently out of control.

(six) i added bloglovin since google reader is adios muchachos!  now all you lovies who desperately have wanted to follow me can..! :)

and i am going to link up with ot and et and harvesting kale :) :) :) here's hoping spring will come soon!

cleaning - my house!  i got some MUCH needed cleaning in today and it does a soul good.

planning - for my husband's birthday and A's half birthday!  we have decided to celebrate half birthdays with all of our kid(s) and i LOVE LOVE LOVE birthdays.  surprises await!

planting - nothing, i am lame, there is snow on the ground.  i did buy tulips to cheer myself up though.

skipping - i have been skipping cooking recently and it hasn't felt good.  we have ordered too much take out and been eating too many chips.  i got back in the game today with a crock pot recipe and am hoping that this gets my out of my slump.  sometimes you just don't have ideas and even the simplest of recipes seems too complicated to execute.

wearing - my winter jacket.  again.  still.  ridiculous.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

treat it.

to everyone who has never been touched by suicide,

i get it.  i used to be like you too.  here are the most common views of suicide i either heard or personally held growing up:

that person is selfish
that person is crazy
that person is a coward
they wanted to die
they were depressed for a long time and finally went through with it
there are always warning signs, so people know it's coming
that it's preventable
THAT IT WOULDN'T AFFECT ME


there is this social stigma around depression, suicide, etc.  i can't tell you what it is like to not be able to talk openly about my husband's death.  to see people either openly or privately distance themselves from my pain, search for reasons that he did it beyond the fact that he was ill and we didn't catch it in time, connect dots that aren't connected.  all so they can convince themselves that they will never know the pain, and i honestly hope they don't- but it's possible they will.  i know people whose lives…

life we expect over life we're given

one of the undying truths i have discovered through this process is that few of us live the life we imagine.  sure, some do.  but most have speed bumps thrown their way throughout life.  whether it's a divorce or death or financial insecurity, many start over, many rebuild, many take stock throughout their thirties, forties, fifties and think "well this isn't where i thought i would be"



granted... all things considered, mine is more tragic than most.  even outside of these most recent events my life has seen its fill of trying circumstances.  by the age of eight i had seen abuse and death in my family.  not exactly what you would hope for, but certainly it has given me the coping mechanisms i have now.  

as i navigate these next steps, the great unknown, there are many that have opinions and voices into my life.  everyone wants what's best for me and everyone has their own idea of what that is.
people... i don't even know what that is.  but i know what i want…

dating in 2016, also huge LOL at even posting this.

Half of me can’t even believe I am writing this post.  Dating is gruesome, isn’t it?  Like most of life, I suppose.
The weekend that Jim died I was standing there, a wreck, while my phone was blowing up.  Alayne goes “who is texting you so much?”
I respond “oh those are just my tinder matches” 
and I know that not everybody gets the hilarity and all I can say is until you are in the fire, you don’t see the need for a respite from getting burned.
anyways, i was talking to my therapist about dating and i commented “single, widowed mom, sole custody of two kids… it’s a tough sell” and it is.  
i have this story that literally leaves people speechless.  most people when they hear it don’t even really know how to interact with me much less get involved romantically.  and i know eventually it won’t be such a big part of my identity, this widowed, grieving mom, but right now it is and if i want anything to do with the person then it’s like they have to know it.  
again, it’s a tough sell.