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it's friday.

ya'll it's here.
the weekend, the blessed blessed weekend.

high five for friday:

1.  i am going to ulta this weekend.  i realized today that i haven't recently ever cleaned out my makeup bag.  ga-ross.  i still had eye shadow from high school in there.  on my wish list: a stick under eye concealer, some neutral eye shadows, a "fresh" daytime look that can be pulled together FAST as in, my baby is still occupied by her hands by the time i am finishing my mascara fast.  prior to this, i realized, yes i had become one of those moms that... wasn't keeping up on it.  come on bria pull it together.  time for spring cleaning to continue in all areas and a fresh look and maybe a new perfume!

2.  my family is together!  how sappy is this, but you guys, there is nothing like seeing a daddy interact with his daughter.  i can spend all day trying to make little a laugh and nothing, dad comes home takes one look at her and she cracks up like it's going out of style.  their love is comforting to me and i bask in it whenever possible.

3.  i did p90x yoga today... come on not the whole thing, it's an hr and a half.  but you guys i LOVED it. it definitely rivaled some of the best classes i have taken and i would love to get the chance to do the whole thing.  i plan on doing the other half of it sometime this weekend.

4.  chewkie's (nickname!) other bottom tooth has sprung through!  stop growing up so fast little girl!

5.  dog park opens this weekend, yes yes yes for time off the leash, running, being tired out, not being up in our business 24/7/365




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THAT IT WOULDN'T AFFECT ME


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dreams.

to my love,

i hope you know how much i miss you.  the words, of course, fall short.  but there they are, just the same.  i.miss.you.  i told addy that you and elly can live in our hearts forever, but this of course is a lie.  death is permanent and there is no living to be done once the breathe leaves our bodies.  you are not living on in our hearts, minds, or souls.  there is no living to yet be done for you.  instead we are left with our memories which time will eventually dull.  numbing ourselves to the very sense of you.  it is that way for me with my mom, my memories of her are stunted and few and we had eight years together.

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Dear Cavs,

Our playoff season started the day my five week old daughter, Elly, passed away, twelve days later my husband also died suddenly.
Your road to the finals, so fraught with emotion was also the start of a very difficult, seemingly impossible journey for me.

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